Heartstopper | Between Silence

Prologue

"Charlie felt like he was walking on thin ice. The fear made his breath freeze."

What unnamed feeling lingered between him and Nick? This question constantly haunted Charlie’s mind. There were always small signs: a look here, a touch there, and definitely some flirting, but they had never really talked about it. No words like "We're together," "You're my boyfriend," or anything of the sort. The uncertainty was suffocating for Charlie. It felt as though he was trapped again in the nightmare from before, the one where, like with Ben, he was just a “means to an end,” never truly loved or considered in terms of his feelings. He never wanted to relive those flashbacks.

Still, with Nick, Charlie felt no coldness. He never had the impression that Nick was pushing him away or keeping him at a distance. Nick was always warm, always present. But the uncertainty made him doubt over and over again. "What is this between us?" His voice trembled as he said it, as if he feared the answer could tear him apart.

Nick looked at him with a questioning gaze. “What do you mean?”

Charlie’s heart began to race faster. “You know...” he hesitated, formulating the question cautiously, afraid to hear the answer he dreaded, “Do you like me?” The words surprised him, as if they weren’t really his own but had come from some deep corner of his heart. What if Nick distanced himself now? What if he was nothing more than just a friend to Nick?

Nick responded without hesitation, almost casually: “Of course I like you, Charlie.”

But suddenly, as if from nowhere, a grey cloud appeared over Nick, and the words seemed to distort in Charlie’s mind: “Like a brother, you know.”

In Charlie’s thoughts, Nick was engulfed in darkness, surrounded by a fog, and suddenly it felt as if all his fears were coming true. Was this really all Nick felt for him? A brother? A friend who would never love him the way he wished?

He closed his eyes to push the pain away. A soft “How could I not love someone as wonderful as you?” brought him back to reality. He looked at Nick, who was still staring at him. That warm look, radiating nothing but kindness. Nick smiled at him, his golden-brown eyes sparkling like amber.

Charlie’s heart beat faster. The self-doubts that had been so loud just moments ago seemed to vanish in the wind. Then, a “Sorry” slipped from his lips.

Nick looked at him, confused. “Charlie, why are you apologizing again? The 'S-word' has been banned.”

“Sorry, old habit...” Charlie murmured. Nick gave him a playful, reproachful look. “Oh, Char...” He shook his head, then put his arm around him.

Charlie blushed and tried to hide it by resting his head on Nick's chest, the familiar feeling of Nick's closeness wrapping him in warmth. Even Nick’s heart was doing somersaults; how much he would love to kiss Charlie right now.

Charlie never wanted to let go of those strong arms. Everything seemed perfect, almost too perfect...