Heartstopper | Between Silence

Chapter 2: Love?

(POV Nick):

Nick lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling. It was quiet, almost eerie. The room felt way too big, and he could hear his own breath, muffled in the stillness. Outside, the wind was howling, but it didn’t help to drive away the loneliness. His thoughts kept circling around Charlie, the sound of the drums he had heard when he followed him to the school hall, only to decide to hide when he accidentally knocked something over.

The argument wasn’t forgotten, and yet, there was a sharp pang in his chest that reminded him how much he missed Charlie.

The silence in his room was suffocating.

His phone vibrated. Nick looked at the screen— a message from Charlie.

"Sorry," it read.

Nick closed his eyes and imagined how the message must have reached him. But then fear washed over him: How should he respond? A sense of unease spread through him. He needed to move, to clear his head. Nick paced back and forth, his steps feeling heavy, as if something was pulling him into an abyss. His thoughts were spinning. What should he write? What words could express how special Charlie was to him? The nervousness gnawed at his stomach, and he pressed a hand to it, fighting the nausea.

Nick took a deep breath, ran his fingers through his hair, messing it up, while gripping his phone in the other hand, as though his life depended on it.

He knew he had to do something. Say something that meant more than just "Sorry." But what if he messed it up? What if he made Charlie even more uncertain? Nick felt his heart racing wildly, and the words he needed seemed impossible to find. Maybe he just wasn’t good enough to get this right.

Nick knew it would be hard, but… he couldn’t keep his feelings bottled up any longer.

"I can’t stop my heart..." he whispered softly, more to himself than anyone else.

With a sigh, he grabbed his phone and began typing the first words that came to mind…

"If you're not near me, I don't know what this means," the words spilled out, as if it was the only thing he could express right now. This uncertainty about what he really felt for Charlie wouldn’t let go… why were they like this? The argument had complicated everything, but somehow he felt that the connection to him went much deeper, because a day without Charlie felt meaningless. Not even 24 hours had passed since the argument, and Nick was desperate:

"I don't know what to do, I can't stop my heart," he continued. The words felt so familiar. He remembered Charlie’s drumming, the melody almost like a whisper floating through the walls; then he had finished writing the song. "I can't stop my heart... can't stop my heart..." Nick had to sit down again, because his heart was racing faster, as if it was about to jump out of his chest. The thought that he might one day say these words directly to Charlie made him dizzy:

"I can't stop my heart from loving you." The words felt so right, as if they had always been there, just waiting to be spoken. It was the truth Nick had hidden for so long. And now, in this moment, in this room, he could finally write them down.

It was as if he was admitting to himself, for the first time, what he truly felt. It wasn’t just a fleeting affection. Had he just confessed that he loved Charlie? That realization wouldn’t let go of him.

He stared at the words on the screen, his heart pounding. The uncertainty tortured Nick, just like it tormented him, but one thing was clear: he couldn’t stand another hour without Charlie.

It was time to act. What awaited him, he didn’t know—but one thing was certain: he couldn’t wait any longer. His fingers trembled with excitement, then he jumped up. He hastily put on his shoes and threw on his jacket, without thinking any longer about what might happen. Only one thing mattered now: Charlie!