Letters to Nesa, From Charlotte

Letter no. 16

Nesanexa is live on TikTok

"Where's Charlotte? Charlotte is busy, you guys!"

"I love her so much! I don't care if she doesn't love me."

To Nesa,

I smiled seeing you that goofy and expressive. I watched your live that day using my dump account. I was able to watch you freely just like I used to when I was just a normal fan of yours. You went live with your friend, Amy. You were so drunk and talkative yet, still so beautiful as ever.

I smiled like an idiot while I was with my office. I am falling - hard and deep. But falling in love with an actress, model, and a pageant queen like you has consequences. People started noticing us and people started throwing hate to both of us. Me being a coward and you being a user and a gold digger. I knew I had to stay lowkey to protect you. Forgive me Nesa, it's the least thing I could do. If only distance wasn't a problem, I'd come running at your place and hug you.

I wanted to tell you that everything's gonna be alright. I wanted to tell you that I am here. I wanted to tell you that for as long as you have me, no one can hurt you. But baby, no amount of comforting words could make you feel better as you suffered a lot too.

I always have time when it comes to you but I want you to interact with your fans without my name attached to yours. I want you to shine and grow. I want the best things for you because you deserve it.

I miss you, my daisy. I miss you so much.

After that live, your absence became louder. The fans was longing for our interactions through live.

As the days stretch into weeks, the ache in my heart grows deeper. The absence of your laughter, your warmth, and the sparkle in your eyes has cast a long shadow over my life.

I miss the way your eyes would light up when you'd discuss your dreams. I miss the way your voice would fill the silence, painting vivid pictures with your words. I miss the way you could make me laugh and giggle, even on the darkest of days.

I know that you're taking this time to heal, to rediscover yourself. And I respect that. I understand the importance of solitude, the necessity of silence.

But even as I understand, my heart yearns for your presence. I yearn for the day when we can laugh together again, dream together again, and simply be together again.

Until that day, I'll keep your memory alive, cherishing every moment we shared. I'll send silent prayers, hoping they reach you, comforting you, and reminding you that you're not alone. I'll keep a space in my heart, a space just for you, waiting for the day you return.

In the meantime, take care of yourself. Eat well, sleep well, and most importantly, be kind to yourself. You deserve all the love and happiness in the world.

Ang hirap talaga kapag may isang napaka gandang bagay na sinisira ng maling panahon at pangit na pagkakataon.

Mahal kita, Nesa. I love you more than just our tiktok lives and interactions.

-From Charlotte