A world for us.

Alex's mind.

Since they couldn't stay in Panama for too long, Michael and Alex did buy plane tickets to leave this place and start a new life. Alex took his time, this day, to caress Michael's face and tell him they will be happier away even if Michael loved Panama.
They could still have a house near the beach, walk through the sunset hand in hand when no one would watch and act like they were friends in restaurants or museums. Michael nodded many times, and sighed.
''I know it's a change of plans for you''
Alex said lowly, bending his back to kiss Michael's forehead softly.
He hated to see Michael this silent. But they had to think about their security. And Alex had to change air, he felt strange for days now.

He told Michael it was nothing, that it could be the aftermaths of Sona's hell hole. Or the long way through drugs abstinence. How could Alex know ?
But Michael grew worried everytime Alex wasn't joining him to bed and fell asleep scribbling and mumbling to himself on the kitchen table. Or when he sat on the sofa, hand supporting his face, deep in thoughs eyes stuck on the wall or the painting of a boat pinned to the wall.
Alex couldn't even sleep for two nights, shivering and legs shaking under the sheets as he rolled and turned on the bed to find a way to finally disconnect his brain.

''Maybe you should see a doctor, Alex.''
Michael told him as they prepared their stuff slowly.
Alex nodded lightly eyes stuck on his little pile of shirts.
''I'm worried.''
Michael added approaching slowly to close an arm around Alex's hips and push his cheek on the man's shoulder.
''You don't have to''
Alex answered in a whisper putting the clothes in his suitcase.
''You have your new papers ?"
He asked, ignoring Michael's face and worried eyes. He wanted to feel better too but Michael, his genius, couldn't fix his thoughts on him. He had so much to do for himself.
''We leave tonight. Don't forget to bring something to do in the plane alright ?"
Alex added walking here and there, taking a book, Michael's drawing pad and charcoals.
''I love you''
Michael suddenly said making Alex stop his frenetic picking and walking through the room.
''And i love you''
He answered almost sadly.
Michael watched him strangely, hands joining Alex's around the drawing pad.
''I love you, Alexander.''
He echoed himself making Alex shiver and twitch.
''Michael''
He mumbled hardly.
''Oh Michael, Michael''
It sounded like a groal, a whine and Alex fell into the other man's arms like Michael was an anchor.
''I love you''
Alex almost sobbed.
''I'm so sorry''
He added letting Michael throw the pad on the bed to hug Alex's body strongly.
''We will find a doctor, Alex. We will get you on your feet.''

------

Alex watched Michael sleep in the plane next to him, fingers stuck in Alex's hid under his drawing pad. Alex smiled a little seeing the shut eyes move and dance proving the younger man was dreaming.
It was hard, to think what their lifes would be in an other country, how they would have to act. But Alex was ready, even if it meant to go see a doctor to ease his mind and be finally happy.
He was ready.