Autumn Calculus

Ch.5.

The morning after her hike with Ji-hoon, Eun-ji woke up with a new energy she hadn't felt in a long time. The memory of their laughter, the sunlight filtering through the trees, and the peacefulness of the hike lingered in her mind like a warm glow.

But as soon as she opened her laptop and looked at her calendar, reality set back in. She had three assignments due by the end of the week and an upcoming quiz in calculus. Her fingers hovered over her planner as she thought about the hours she'd need to dedicate to each task. Her routine, one that once felt comforting, now felt slightly constricting.

"Alright, Eun-ji, focus," she muttered to herself, trying to shake off any lingering thoughts of the hike. "Back to work."

The days passed quickly. Eun-ji buried herself in her studies, spending late nights in the library, jotting down notes and solving equations. Yet, every so often, her mind would wander back to Ji-hoon. She'd find herself smiling at the memory of his teasing, the way he'd effortlessly shifted between serious and playful, and how natural it had all felt. It was distracting in a way that both thrilled and frustrated her.

By Thursday evening, Eun-ji felt like she was on the edge of burnout. She rubbed her eyes, trying to ignore the dull ache at the back of her head as she looked over her calculus notes. Just as she reached for her phone to check the time, it buzzed with a text.

Ji-hoon: Hey! Are you free tomorrow after classes?

Eun-ji's heart gave an unexpected flutter. She bit her lip, hesitating before typing a response.

Eun-ji: I might be. Why?

She tried to sound casual, even though her excitement was barely contained.

Ji-hoon: I found this new coffee place near campus. Thought you might need a change of scenery. My treat!

Eun-ji glanced around her dimly lit dorm room, stacks of books surrounding her, and knew she couldn't resist. She had worked hard all week; she could allow herself this one small break.

Eun-ji: Okay, sounds good!

The next day, Eun-ji found herself glancing at the clock every few minutes. The anticipation of seeing Ji-hoon again made it hard to focus on anything else. When her last class finally ended, she practically flew out of the lecture hall and made her way to the campus gate, where Ji-hoon was waiting, grinning as he spotted her.

"Wow, you look happy to see me," he said, teasing.

She rolled her eyes, trying to play it cool. "Don't flatter yourself. I just need caffeine."

They walked side by side to the coffee shop Ji-hoon had mentioned. It was a cozy little place tucked away on a quiet street, with warm lighting, big windows, and the rich aroma of coffee filling the air. Ji-hoon held the door open for her, and they settled into a small booth by the window.

Eun-ji looked at the menu, her eyes wide with options she'd never tried before. "What would you recommend?"

Ji-hoon leaned back, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "Well, the caramel macchiato here is pretty famous. But if you're feeling adventurous, there's the honey cinnamon latte. It's kind of like autumn in a cup."

"Autumn in a cup? That sounds dramatic," Eun-ji teased.

He laughed. "You'll thank me for it, trust me."

She took his advice and ordered the honey cinnamon latte. As they waited, they chatted about classes, and Eun-ji found herself sharing more than she usually would, admitting her struggles with balancing her goals and her family's expectations.

"My parents expect a lot too," Ji-hoon said, nodding. "But somewhere along the way, I realized it's okay to make room for things that make me happy. It's not selfish—it's necessary."

Eun-ji looked down, letting his words sink in. Maybe that's what she'd been missing all this time: permission to make space for herself.

Their drinks arrived, and Eun-ji took a sip of her latte. It was rich, warm, and just the right amount of sweet, with a hint of spice from the cinnamon.

"Okay, this is amazing," she admitted, smiling at him.

"Told you," he replied, taking a sip of his own coffee. "Sometimes you just have to take a leap and try something new."

They spent the next hour talking and laughing, Ji-hoon sharing stories about his work at the coffee shop, Eun-ji talking about her favorite books and how she used to write little stories when she was younger. She hadn't talked like this with anyone in a long time—just casually, without any pressure or agenda. It felt good to open up.

Before they knew it, the sky outside the window had begun to darken. Eun-ji glanced at her watch and felt a pang of regret that the evening was coming to an end.

"Thanks for inviting me out," she said, smiling softly. "I really needed this."

Ji-hoon's gaze was warm as he looked at her. "Anytime. It's nice to see you relax a bit."

As they left the coffee shop, Eun-ji felt a sense of contentment and a subtle thrill. Her cheeks flushed as they walked back toward campus, the cool evening air bringing a slight chill. Just before they reached the gate, Ji-hoon paused and turned to her.

"You know, you're different from what I expected," he said, studying her with a curious expression.

"Oh?" Eun-ji asked, her pulse quickening. "What did you expect?"

He smiled. "I don't know. Just... I didn't think you'd be this fun."

"Is that supposed to be a compliment?" she asked, feigning offense.

"Take it as you will," he replied with a mischievous grin. "Just don't disappear back into the library forever, okay?"

She laughed, feeling lighter than she had in weeks. "I'll try not to."

They parted ways at the gate, but Eun-ji's heart stayed with her. For the first time, she felt like she was allowing herself to enjoy something without guilt or worry. As she walked back to her dorm, her phone buzzed again.

Ji-hoon: You're definitely hanging out with me again soon. Deal?

A smile spread across her face as she typed back.

Eun-ji: Deal.

That night, Eun-ji tried to settle back into her study routine, but the memories of the coffee shop, Ji-hoon's laugh, and the gentle warmth of their conversation wouldn't leave her mind. She felt herself wanting to see him again, and just thinking about it brought a happiness she hadn't expected.

It was still new, still uncertain, but for the first time in a long time, Eun-ji felt like she was moving beyond her carefully constructed walls and exploring something that was entirely her own.