Autumn Calculus

Ch.10.

Eun-ji's fingers hovered over the keyboard, the soft clacking of keys from nearby tables blending with the gentle background hum of the library. She was trying to finish her latest assignment, but her thoughts kept drifting back to the night at the café. Every time she closed her eyes, she could almost hear Ji-hoon's voice, the way he had looked so relaxed and confident under the dim lights.

A familiar warmth crept up her cheeks, and she quickly shook her head, forcing herself to refocus on the math problem at hand. She wasn't here to daydream about some annoying sunbae, she was here to study. Yet, no matter how hard she tried, the numbers on the screen blurred into the image of Ji-hoon's easy smile.

"What is wrong with me?" she muttered, pressing her palms against her cheeks as if that would stop the flush.

Just then, Ha-rin appeared from behind one of the library bookshelves, plopping down across from Eun-ji with a mischievous grin. "Oh? Who's got you blushing?"

"No one!" Eun-ji said, a little too quickly, closing her laptop with a thud.

Ha-rin raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced. "Right. No one." She leaned forward, resting her chin in her hands. "So, when's the next outing with Ji-hoon?"

"It's not like that," Eun-ji said, but even to her own ears, it sounded weak. "We're just... friends."

"Friends who make each other blush," Ha-rin teased, her eyes sparkling. "And who spend all night talking and walking through the park."

Eun-ji opened her mouth to protest, but closed it again. How could she explain what she felt when she wasn't even sure herself? Ji-hoon was frustrating, arrogant, and far too charming for his own good—but he was also kind, funny, and had this way of making her feel seen. She didn't have time for distractions, but lately, he seemed to have settled in her thoughts, refusing to leave.

"Well, if you two do go out again, invite me and Min-seo!" Ha-rin said, breaking Eun-ji's reverie. "It's fun hanging out with everyone."

Eun-ji forced a smile. "Sure. I'll... think about it."

As Ha-rin began chattering about the upcoming school festival, Eun-ji tried to ignore the tangle of emotions that had taken root. Maybe a little space from Ji-hoon would be a good thing.

The following week passed in a blur of lectures, study sessions, and projects. Eun-ji threw herself into her coursework with a kind of desperate determination, hoping to distract herself from her conflicting thoughts. But every time she spotted Ji-hoon in the cafeteria or passed him in the hall, her resolve wavered. He seemed to be everywhere—chatting with friends, laughing, waving casually at her as if nothing had changed.

One rainy afternoon, Eun-ji headed to the study café near campus, hoping the change of scenery would help her focus. She found a quiet corner table and was just settling in when a familiar voice called her name.

"Eun-ji! What are you doing here?"

She looked up to see Min-seo beaming at her, holding a half-empty latte. "I didn't know you came here!" Min-seo said, sliding into the seat opposite her without waiting for an invitation.

"Just... studying," Eun-ji said, gesturing to her stack of textbooks.

"Well, I'm glad I ran into you," Min-seo said brightly. "Ji-hoon's been asking about you."

Eun-ji's heart did a funny little flip. "He has?"

Min-seo nodded. "He said you've been avoiding him all week."

Eun-ji's cheeks burned. It was true—she had been ducking out of conversations and finding excuses to leave whenever he was nearby. "I'm just... busy," she said weakly.

Min-seo gave her a knowing look. "He misses hanging out with you, you know. We all do. You should join us for lunch tomorrow."

Eun-ji hesitated, feeling torn. The idea of seeing Ji-hoon again made her pulse race, but she wasn't sure she was ready to face whatever was happening between them. Before she could respond, Min-seo's phone buzzed with a text, and she quickly got up.

"Think about it, okay?" Min-seo said with a wink before heading out, leaving Eun-ji alone with her thoughts.

The next day, Eun-ji found herself lingering outside the cafeteria, nerves twisting in her stomach. She had decided to go—if only to prove to herself that nothing had changed, that she could handle being around Ji-hoon without her emotions getting in the way. Taking a deep breath, she pushed open the door and scanned the crowded room.

She spotted the group near the window, Ji-hoon waving enthusiastically when he saw her. She forced a smile and made her way over, trying to ignore the way her heart fluttered.

"Hey! Long time no see," Ji-hoon said as she sat down, his tone light and teasing.

"I've been busy," she said, hoping it sounded casual.

"Too busy for us?" he asked with a mock pout. "I'm hurt."

"Don't be dramatic," she said, rolling her eyes.

The rest of the group was already deep into a conversation about the upcoming school festival, and soon, Eun-ji found herself getting swept up in the excitement. Min-seo was eagerly discussing potential booth ideas, Ha-rin was debating what costume to wear, and even Ji-hoon seemed animated, talking about a band he wanted to see perform.

As the conversation flowed, Eun-ji began to relax. Being with them felt... normal, like the awkwardness she had feared wasn't there at all. And Ji-hoon, to her surprise, wasn't pushing or teasing her about her absence—he was just there, effortlessly fitting into the group's easy rhythm.

But as they finished lunch and started to leave, Ji-hoon hung back, catching her just as she turned to go. "Hey," he said softly, his voice suddenly serious. "Can we talk for a second?"

Eun-ji's stomach flipped. "Sure," she said, trying to keep her tone neutral.

They stepped aside, out of earshot from the others, and Ji-hoon rubbed the back of his neck, a hint of uncertainty in his eyes. "Did I... do something?" he asked. "Because it feels like you've been avoiding me."

Eun-ji's heart sank at the hurt in his voice. She hadn't meant to make him feel that way, but she didn't know how to explain her confusing feelings without making things worse.

"No, it's not you," she said quickly. "I've just been... busy, like I said."

He studied her for a moment, his gaze softening. "If you say so. But just so you know... I miss hanging out with you."

Eun-ji felt her breath catch, and for a moment, she wanted to reach out, to close the distance between them. But she didn't. Instead, she nodded, forcing a smile. "I'll... see you around, okay?"

"Okay," he said, his expression unreadable as he stepped back, letting her go.

As she walked away, Eun-ji felt a weight settle in her chest, and she wondered if she had just made a mistake—or if keeping her distance was the only way to keep her heart safe.