The train station was packed as usual, commuters rushing by, their faces blank and tired. It was just another evening, the kind where everything felt like it was on repeat. The world moved around me, but I felt like I was stuck in the middle of it all, frozen. The fluorescent lights above flickered, casting an almost surreal glow on the crowd. I wasn't in a hurry to go anywhere; I just wanted to get lost for a while, to drift.
That's when I saw him again.
Keisuke.
I don't know why I noticed him at first. Maybe it was the way he stood out even in the crowd, his posture too relaxed for someone who looked like they belonged. His dark hair was damp from the rain, and his eyes were sharp as usual, but there was something different in the way he looked today. Something... heavy.
I tried to pretend I didn't see him, to just keep walking like I always did, but he caught my eye before I could look away.
"Hey," he said, his voice loud enough to cut through the noise of the station. It was that familiar, no-nonsense tone, but today it felt more serious.
I stopped, my feet unwilling to move any further. "What do you want?"
Keisuke didn't answer right away. He just watched me for a moment, like he was deciding whether to bother with an explanation. I could feel the tension creeping up my spine, like there was something he wanted to say, but he was waiting for me to speak first.
"You're not in a hurry?" he asked after a while, glancing at the clock on the wall. It was almost time for the last train, and the station was emptying out quickly. The platform was quieter now
I glanced around at the people bustling around us, trying to ignore the sudden weight of his presence.
"I'm fine," I muttered, shifting from one foot to the other.
I didn't know why I kept saying that, like repeating it would somehow make it true. I wasn't fine. I hadn't been fine for a long time.
Keisuke seemed to catch the slight shift in my posture, the way my words didn't match my body language.
His eyes narrowed for a moment, like he was seeing something he wasn't supposed to.
"You're not fine," he said, his voice quieter now, more direct. "What's going on?"
For a second, I wanted to tell him to mind his own business, but the words got stuck in my throat.
There was something about him standing there , so sure, so confident , that made it hard to push him away like I usually did with people.
"I don't need to explain myself to you," I said instead, my voice sharp. But even I could hear the crack in it.
Baji didn't back down. Instead, he leaned in slightly, his expression unreadable. "I don't need an explanation. I just don't want you to keep acting like nothing's wrong. You're not fooling anyone."
I felt my heart beat faster, but I refused to let it show. I wasn't going to break down in front of him. I wasn't that weak.
"I'm not fooling anyone," I snapped, taking a step back, suddenly wanting space between us. "I'm just... minding my own business. Like you should be."
He didn't move. He just stood there, watching me, his eyes unwavering.
"You don't have to push me away," he said, his voice still calm. "I'm not here to judge you. I'm not here to tell you what to do. But you can't keep acting like you're fine when you're not."
I clenched my fists at my sides, my nails digging into the palms of my hands. Why couldn't he just leave it alone? Why couldn't he just walk away like everyone else did?
But he wasn't walking away. He wasn't like everyone else.
"I'm not doing this with you," I muttered, looking down at the ground, anything to avoid his gaze. I couldn't handle the weight of it. The way he could see right through me.
"I'm not asking you to do anything," he said, his tone softening just slightly. "I'm just... here. "
I felt a lump form in my throat. The words were too simple, too genuine. And I hated that I needed to hear them.
I wanted to walk away. I wanted to act like he didn't matter, like none of this mattered. But the longer I stood there, the more I realized I didn't have the strength to keep pretending. Not today.
Keisuke must've seen it, because his expression softened, just a little. He didn't try to say anything else, He just stood there, waiting.
I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what I wanted. But for the first time in weeks, I didn't feel completely alone. Even though everything inside of me screamed to run, I stayed.
"I'm not a charity case," I said quietly, trying to regain some control.
Keisuke chuckled, but there was no malice in it. "I know. I never said you were."
I stood there for a moment longer, just letting the silence stretch between us. I didn't want to admit it, but I was afraid. Afraid that if I let him in, if I let myself believe he actually cared, it would all fall apart. That it would be too much to handle.
But Keisuke didn't try to fill the silence with words. He didn't pressure me or try to make everything okay. He just stood there .
The sound of the next train approaching snapped me out of my thoughts, and I glanced at the platform, the train pulling into the station, its doors opening with a hiss.
"I'm not getting on," I said suddenly, almost to myself. The words felt like a declaration, but I wasn't even sure what it meant.
Baji didn't look surprised. He just nodded, like he knew exactly what I meant. "Yeah. I know."
Without another word, I turned away, but not before I heard his voice one last time, quiet but steady.
"Take care of yourself."
It wasn't much. But it was enough to make something inside me loosen, just a little. I didn't know where it was leading, or if I even wanted to know. But for the first time in a long while, I didn't feel like I had to face it all by myself.
Maybe that was the start of something.
Or maybe it was just another fleeting moment.
˚₊‧꒰ა . ——— ˗ˏˋ✮ˎˊ˗ ——— ˖໒꒱‧₊˚
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