chapter twenty one

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The week off hadn't given me rest

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The week off hadn't given me rest. If anything, it had only drawn me deeper into the labyrinth of the case, forcing me to confront it in the quiet of my own apartment. And as I stood in the middle of my living room, surrounded by walls covered in every clue, every lead, every twisted connection, it was clear: the case had become a part of me.

Red and black strings crisscrossed over city maps, linking photos and handwritten notes, names, dates—every possible scrap of information I could cling to in my pursuit of him. The room felt alive, pulsing with an energy that was all my own desperation and fury.

A knock at the door jolted me from my thoughts, and I crossed the room, stepping over stacks of files and loose papers on the floor. I knew who it would be before I even opened it.

Nick stood in the doorway, holding a bag of pastries and two cups of coffee. He took one long look at the scene inside—at the chaos that had claimed my space and, it seemed, every last part of me. His eyes were dark, searching as he took it all in, then shifted to meet mine with a hard edge I wasn't expecting.

"Thought you might be hungry," he said finally, holding up the bag. But there was something in his voice, a hint of something tightly controlled, almost wary.

"Thanks," I murmured, taking the bag and letting him step inside. I didn't know what to say as he looked around, his gaze lingering on the photos, the map on the wall, the evidence that seemed to have multiplied in his absence. I could sense his unease as he studied the room, and for a moment, the silence between us felt as thick as smoke.

After a long pause, Nick set the coffee down and finally spoke, his voice low and tense. "Scarlett... what the hell is this ?"

I forced a shrug, trying to play it off, though we both knew that wasn't possible. "I'm just... piecing it all together. Trying to make sense of it."

"This isn't just piecing it together." He gestured to the walls, his voice hardening with a quiet frustration. "You've turned your apartment into a war room."

"It's what I have to do," I replied, my voice sharper than I'd intended. "If I want to find him, I need to see every connection. Every step he's taken, every move he's made."

Nick's eyes narrowed, and I could feel his concern simmering beneath the surface. "Scarlett... you're letting this consume you. You can't do this to yourself. Not like this."

I turned away, unwilling to let him see the frustration bubbling up inside me. "I don't have a choice," I said, my voice trembling with barely contained emotion. "He's taken everything from me, Nick. My family, my sense of safety, my whole life. And you think I'm supposed to just sit back and let that happen?"

He moved closer, his presence steady, grounding, but also quietly relentless. "I'm not saying you should sit back. But look at yourself." He reached out, his hand hovering just near my shoulder before he let it fall. "You're unraveling, Scarlett. You're losing yourself in this."

A bitter laugh slipped out before I could stop it, and I shook my head. "And what else am I supposed to do? What do I have left, Nick? This is my life now. It's all I have." My voice broke, and I hated myself for it.

"You have more than that," he said, his voice barely above a whisper, but filled with a fierce, quiet conviction. "You still have people who care about you. People who need you here—whole, not torn apart by this."

I looked down, unable to hold his gaze. "I don't know how to be whole anymore," I admitted, almost to myself. "Not while he's still out there, walking free after everything he's done."

Nick was silent for a long moment, and I felt him watching me, as if trying to read every part of me that I kept hidden. Finally, he spoke, his voice softer now, but edged with a kind of sorrow. "Scarlett... I'm afraid you're going to destroy yourself to catch him. And when he's gone, when there's nothing left to fight—what then? What will be left of you?"

The question hung between us, a weight that settled in my chest. I didn't have an answer for him, and I could see the pain that truth caused him. He moved closer, reaching out to tuck a loose strand of hair behind my ear, a touch that was both grounding and unbearably gentle.

"You don't have to do this alone," he murmured, his voice barely more than a breath. "Let me help you."

I looked up at him, and for a moment, the anger, the obsession—all of it faded away, leaving only the two of us in the quiet of my apartment, surrounded by the evidence of a life unraveled.

"You're risking a lot," I said softly, my voice almost breaking. "Staying here, standing by me. It's dangerous, Nick."

He smiled, a sad, resolute smile that made something ache inside me. "I know that. But if you're going to keep fighting, keep burning yourself down to catch him, then I'll be right here beside you." His gaze darkened, his voice fierce with something that felt like a promise. "If you're going to burn him to the ground, Scarlett, then let me be there to watch it happen with you."

I felt a shiver run through me, his words a quiet vow, binding us in a way I hadn't expected. The tension between us thickened, an intensity I could feel in every inch of the space between us. It was as if he understood, without words, the darkness that had wrapped itself around my life—and he was choosing to stand in it with me.

"Then stay," I whispered, my voice barely audible. "But don't try to stop me. Don't ask me to let this go."

He nodded, a slow, deliberate movement, his gaze locked on mine. "I won't. I'll stand with you, Scarlett. Wherever this leads, whatever it costs."

The words lingered in the air between us, heavy and final. And in that moment, I felt the weight of his presence, his support, like an anchor in the storm of my life. We sat down on the floor together, the walls of evidence surrounding us, the quiet settling over us like a fragile truce.

Nick handed me a pastry, and we sat there in the silence, eating together, his hand brushing mine as he passed me a cup of coffee. The darkness loomed around us, but in that small moment, I felt a glimmer of light—a promise that, no matter how far I went to find him, I wouldn't be alone.

After a long silence, Nick glanced at a photograph pinned to the wall—a picture of my cousin, the last family I had left. His gaze softened, and for a moment, I felt the raw ache of what I'd chosen to leave behind in pursuit of this monster.

"I had to put her in protective custody," I murmured, my voice barely above a whisper. "She was the last connection to my family. After my parents... she's all I have."

Nick's hand tightened around his coffee cup, his jaw set. "And now she's hiding, paying the price for a life she never asked for." His voice was gentle but threaded with a fierce empathy.

I nodded, feeling the weight of guilt settle heavy in my chest. "She's been through enough already. And now, because of me, she's forced to hide, cut off from everything familiar. I hate it, but it's the only way to keep her safe." My voice faltered, and I looked down. "If he could hurt her, he would. I know he would. Just to get to me."

Nick reached out, his hand hovering over mine for a moment before he placed it there, solid and warm. "It wasn't your choice to bring this darkness into your life, Scarlett. But you're making the only choice you can now—to protect her."

I nodded, feeling a surge of resolve mingled with a deep sorrow. In that moment, surrounded by reminders of everything I'd lost and everything still at risk, his hand on mine was the only thing keeping me grounded.

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