Why?(she weeps)

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Why am I quiet, hiding from the world outside?
Why can't I show my emotions, and let my true self reside?
Am I real as gold or fake as plastic to the eye?
I wish I were transparent as a summer sky.

But I'm cloudy, lost in shadows, unsure and alone,
Unrecognized, unseen, or easily forgotten, unknown.
Who am I? I'm searching, unsure, and lost in my mind,
Will I ever find myself, or forever be left behind?

Is it anxiety that holds me back from expressing my heart?
I've learned to love myself, for if I don't, who will start?
I thought I bloomed like a lily, but I'm still a bud,
When will I grow, and let my true self flood?

In my quiet space, I think of them with love,
Longing to laugh together, sent from above.
But nothing's real for me, am I stuck in this dark place?
No one sees me, no one likes me, I scream, I cry in this endless space.

But then I wake, and realize it's just my mind,
A prisoner of fears, leaving me lost and blind.

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