The Art of Secrets

Chapter Two

The day my mother was taken away from me was the day I was left alone. That night was the most painful, I had no one left. So I made sure never to lose myself. -NN 

***** 

When I walk through the door I can immediately feel the air shift. I know he's here I can smell his aftershave.  When he told me that he was visiting I didn't think he'd stop by. I don't really talk to him considering we aren't that close. When I walk into the kitchen I see that he already made himself at home.  

"Ah, already made your way to the scotch I see." I say with a tight smile on my face. 

"I've been waiting for you for quite a while, where were you?" He asks totally ignoring my smart-ass remark. 

"Now is not the time for your fatherly concern. Why are you here Nathan?" 

"I can't just stop by to say hello to my wonderful daughter?" He asks with a smirk. 

"You don't do anything without a purpose." I say while I walk to the other side of the counter. I cross my arms and lean on the counter. 

"Very true, Ah, I do miss your presence Nic-" 

"Don't you dare say it! That's not what I go by anymore." I spit. 

"Very well, what do you go by now? Lettum? Not very clever of you. I mean it is your middle name isn't it?"  

"A middle Name means nothing." 

"You know I gave you that middle name don't you? I picked it and your mother picked your first name.." He says. 

This time I smile at him, "The more reason why 'Lettum' is so useless, unimportant and less sentimental." 

"Thats enough, I didn't come here for you to let out your anger on me." 

"Then why the hell are you here?" 

"I'm here to warn you... Something really big is coming and I don't want you to get hurt, believe it or not your still my daughter and I care about you and want to protect you, I... I.. lo-" 

"NO.YOU.DON'T." I growl.  

"I do. I love you Nic- Lettum" he corrects himself. 

"Well... I don't love you Nathan." 

"Thats not true. I'm your father. You love me, you just gotta let all that anger and self blame go."  

"If I loved you I wouldn't have ran away, I would have responded all those calls, voicemails, and letters. I would have told you I loved you but I haven't have I? NO! BECAUSE I STILL BLAME YOU FOR MY MOTHERS DEATH!" by the time I'm done I'm sobbing.

"Lettum, You don't think I lost someone too? She was my wife the love of my life, the mother of my children and most of all my best friend! The day she died a part of me did too. I know I wasn't the best father but that was because I was hurting. We all were And I'm sorry."  

"Yeah, we did lose someone that held us together but now that she's gone there is no reason why we should even try... Now if you excuse me father, I'm tired and going to bed. You can exit the way you came in." I say as I'm wiping my tears and exiting the kitchen. 

"Lettum... just please be careful." He says as he walks past me and towards the door. I nod and he walks out.  

When he is gone I let out a breath I didn't notice I was holding. My father and I were never close and meant it when I said that  I do blame him for the death of my mother. As I grew older I noticed that my father traveled a lot for his 'Work' on a daily basis. At first I ignored the fact that he missed a lot of family events like a barbecue and birthdays of close family members and my mother was always apologizing for his absence. One day I asked him what he did for a living and he said he was a business man and that was it. He never told me that he sold illegal drugs all around America and the UK. When I was fifteen I found out what he did because I caught him in the act of handing the illegal substance over to some random customer. That was enough for me to know that this man who sold drugs was not the father I grew up with. My father was long gone, along with my mother. 

I go upstairs to the bathroom to take a bath, thats the only way I will relax my tense body. While I let the water run I head to the kitchen to make a cup of tea. I decide to go with chamomille. when the tea is ready I head to the stereo system and put on some music from my playlist and the first song that comes on is All Through The Night by Sleeping At Last. I turn it up enough to hear it play in the bathroom. I get to the Bathroom and hop in the tub and my body feels at peace. I stay in the tub for a little while. When I'm done I change into a plain T-shirt and green pj bottoms, when I read the clock on my night-stand it reads 1:25a.m. Great. I only get six hours of sleep when I feel like I need twenty. 

As I am falling asleep I see a bright pair of sage eyes staring back at me.                                                                    Hello mom, 

Is the last thing I think. 

***** 

When I wake up my head is pounding and my alarm isn't helping, I snooze my alarm and it reads 7:01a.m. I head down to the kitchen and open the medicine cabinet and take two Advil, then I head to the bathroom to get ready. When I look at my reflection I wince, I look terrible, My hair is in nots and my mascara from last night is all smeared. Well, I have two options, either work with what I got and try to fix or adjust everything like clean the mascara and comb my hair and put it up, or start with a fresh canvas my taking a shower and curling my hair even though I'll probably be thirty minutes late to work. Umm... I'll go with option number two. 

When I am all ready with my hair nice and curled and my mascara in place I decide to wear a navy blue romper and some black booties from H&M. When I finally look presentable I head out. I don't have a car of my own yet but I borrow my friend Rhima who isn't really my friend but I supply her with liquor so it works out. It's an all black Jeep that I really like. It runs smooth and has barely been used since I  only use it for work which I do at home and at the studio. I make sure I pass to Martha's Bakery to buy Curt  donuts. When I get to the hospital  I walk through and ask the front desk lady where Curt Baso is staying at at I head there, when I get to his room he is asleep so I set the donuts next to him and Write him a quick note. 

Get better soon Curt :) And enjoy the donuts, I got your Fav, CHOCOLATE! 

-Lettum

As I nearing my job I start getting nervous, I'm an hour late and I didn't even bother calling Olivia my boss, she's gonna be pissed especially since today I'm supposed to show the new intern around the work place...... I'm so screwed... 

Or so I thought, until I saw the new intern.