Capable of Loving You

Chapter 4: Let the Search Begin

As soon as Hanji left, Sophia snuck out of her room. Luckily everyone was in the mess hall for breakfast so she didn't encounter anyone. She wanted to be alone and only one place would allow that: the small lake in the forest. When she got there, she sat against her favorite willow tree and stared into the murky water. She sighed and wished her mother were here to cheer her up. She would've known just what to say. Then, she would've danced and sang with her. Even her younger twin brother and sister would've cheered her up with their goofy antics while her father baked her her favorite cookies. The happy memories brought tears to her eyes. She missed her family so much.

When the colossal titan appeared five years ago, her entire family was devoured. Luckily, she wasn't there to witness their deaths like Eren had his mother's. A few days prior, her friends and Sophia had decided to take a boating trip up to Wall Rose. When they heard what happened, they immediately tried to go back to their families but no one inside Rose was allowed to leave. It wasn't until weeks later that she found out about her family's demise; their names were written under the deceased list in the paper. Sophia would never have left if she knew that was the last time she'd be seeing her family. She would've stayed behind and protected them or died trying. Til this day the guilt slowly ate away at her.

She survived on her own for two years before deciding to join the Survey Corps to avenge her family. And those two years were hell. No one would employ her, so she went hungry for days before she decided to steal to stay alive. The first winter was particularly bad. She had no food, no shelter, and no warm clothes. She heard a way to make money in a tavern and though she didn't like it, she had no choice. That winter she gave her first blow job to a fat, rich bastard and vomited right after he left. But, he paid handsomely and that got her a nice coat and a decent meal.

The next winter she killed for the first time. One man wanted more than what he was paying for and tried to rape her. Early on, Sophia learned that having a weapon handy usually scared those fools from going further. But this man was persistent. She wanted to only wound him and run away, but in the scuffle she ended up stabbing him fatally. Terrified, she ran away because the law was never just to scums like her.

When she joined the 104th Trainee Squad, everyone avoided the feral Sophia. She fought viciously and excelled in hand-to-hand combat. If they thought Mikasa was intimidating, Sophia was a league of her own. At least Eren or Armin could calm Mikasa but no one could calm Sophia. After joining the Survey Corps, she joined Mike Zacharias' squad for Levi's would only be a distraction. It was Mike who helped her control and channel her violent behavior. Slowly she regained her humanity and she would always be indebted to Mike for that. Though he wasn't that old, Sophia always thought of Mike as a father figure. She always sought his advice and took it to heart.

Sophia snapped out of her reverie when she spotted her favorite animal, a black cat with bright green eyes, out of the corner of her eye. She'd met this cat a while ago and would always feed it. Maybe that's why it also grew attached to Sophia. She didn't know its gender but named it Nox anyways. Nox sauntered over to Sophia and settled down on her lap.

"You know for a cat, you're very social," mused Sophia. Nox just purred and looked intently at Sophia, her eyes asking, Food?

Sophia frowned, "I'm sorry Nox but I don't have any food for you today." As soon as she finished speaking, Nox jumped from her lap and disappeared into the forest.

Sophia scowled, "Love you too cat." It wasn't long before Nox returned but this time with two mice hanging from her mouth. She sat one down by Sophia's feet and started eating the other. Sophia's heart swelled, "Aw is that for me?" Nox looked up as if to say, Duh.

Sophia smiled, "Thanks but why don't you have my share too, huh?" She nudged the mouse towards Nox with her foot. Immediately, Nox attacked it, and Sophia laughed at her playfulness. After her breakfast, Nox fell asleep on Sophia's comfortable lap and Sophia petted her lazily. It wasn't long before Sophia also dozed off into a dreamless sleep.