Capable of Loving You

Chapter 3: A Raging Storm

After Sophia left Levi's quarters she went straight to the training field and started running. Running and crying and screaming at herself for confessing her feelings and ruining everything. Soon it started raining and it only worsened with the lightning and thunder, but she kept running. Sophia heard the familiar dinner chime from a distance but she was too absorbed in self-pity to worry about food. She ran for so long that she felt her lungs would explode if the excruciating pain in her side didn't kill her first.

She finally collapsed face first into the mud. She sobbed and beat on the soft ground, her wails muffled by the loud thunder. She constantly replayed the conversation in her head and realized even after being rejected she still loved Levi. And that made her really angry. How could she still love someone who clearly didn't love her back? Because you can't just turn love on or off like a switch, the sane part of her mind thought bitterly.

She was so angry at her misfortune that she wanted to punch something. It wasn't just the rejection anymore. It was everything: the titans killing her family, doing unspeakable things just to survive before she joined the Survey Corps, and now this unrequited love that completely obliterated her relationship with Levi. And so, she punched the cement pole. Sophia screamed and punched harder than the last, remembering everyone she had lost and the one person that would never be hers. When her fists became useless, Sophia beat her head into the pole until she fell unconscious from the pain.

***

When Levi sat down to eat dinner at his usual table, his eyes immediately began to seek Sophia's form. After scanning the entire mess hall and the table where she usually sat, he couldn't find her. Wait...why the hell am I looking for her? I'm sure she's fine. She probably just wanted to be alone tonight after what happened, Levi thought to himself. Yet, he still couldn't shake the guilty feeling that had taken root in his mind. It was because of him Sophia was missing dinner and not joking around with her friends like she usually did. Needless to say, Levi had never rejected anyone in the matters of love. No one had ever confessed to him like that. What could he possibly have done though? He couldn't lead her on. He wasn't that cruel. No. Levi had no doubt that what he did was right, for the both of them. She was a sweet girl and a good soldier, but he couldn't be what she wanted him to be. However, as hard as he tried, he just couldn't get the image of her hopeless face out of his mind.

Maybe he should go check on her...maybe leave a plate of food outside her door just to ease his guilty conscience. No, Levi reprimanded himself, I'm the last person she wants to see right now and I don't want to give her false hope. So with that mindset he decided to head back to his quarters. When he exited the mess hall, it was raining harder than before. As he was heading back to his room, he happened to look out the window and into the field. For a second Levi swore he saw a figure. He squinted against the heavy rain but saw no one. He massaged his temple, "I really need to get some sleep." However, Levi got anything but sleep that night.

***

Dawn arrived much too soon. The sun's rays were just hitting Sophia's muddy face when she heard someone saying something in the periphery of her consciousness. She wished the person would just shut up. Their voice was like a thousand needles pricking her mind, and she just wanted to continue sleeping.

Then someone gently slapped her cheek. "Mmmhmmhm," she mumbled incoherently and tried to turn away from the beating. Why couldn't people just leave her alone?! But that didn't stop the persistent hand. It kept shaking her awake until her eyes angrily fluttered open to reveal clear blue eyes and bushy, dark blonde eyebrows worriedly peering down at her. Who the fuck—she thought annoyed. When her brain finally caught up with her sight, she realized it was none other than Commander Erwin Smith hovering above her. Shit! What have I done? Sophia thought worriedly.

"Commander," her voice was so hoarse and dry that she hardly recognized it herself. She tried to sit up but the world turned upside down and she would've fallen backwards if Erwin hadn't caught her.

"Woah!" he said, "Easy there Cadet Falco. Here take a sip of water." He handed her his flask and Sophia greedily drank. "We need to take you to Hanji immediately," he said urgently, "do you think you can stand up now?"

Sophia nodded and finally realized her surroundings. She was in the middle of the training field. All the events of last night came rushing back and she almost fell again. Tears pooled in her eyes but she ignored them. And if Erwin noticed, he didn't say anything. He helped her stand and she took a cautionary step forward. Her head still felt like it was being hammered but she was able to walk with Erwin's help.

It was still early enough that no one was awake. When they arrived at Hanji's lab, even she was sleeping. When she opened the door, she yawned obnoxiously loudly. Sophia winced and clutched her head in hopes of alleviating the pain.

"What can I do for you Erwin," she said rubbing her eyes until they finally landed on the muddy girl, "Oh my God Sophia what happened to you?!" She ushered Erwin and Sophia inside and laid her down on a bed. Sophia's eyelids felt so heavy. She was slowly floating away into unconsciousness.

"I was out for a morning walk and I just found her like this by the pole in the field," Erwin filled in Hanji.

Hanji nodded and inspected her sleeping patient, "Oh no! She has a small cut on her head but it could be deep. I fear she may have a concussion. She needs to wake up now. Sophia! Sophia!" Hanji gently shook her awake, "you need to wake up. I'm not allowing you to sleep and that is an order!"

Sophia's eyes fluttered open briefly before closing again. "No no no! Erwin get me that bowl of water," Hanji ordered. Erwin complied and Hanji sprinkled water onto Sophia's face. "Sophia wake up!" She and Erwin put the young cadet into a sitting position.

"Sophia can you hear me?" Hanji asked. She nodded slowly and even that movement hurt. She winced again.

"Ok Erwin," Hanji began, "I'm gonna treat her now but its best if you leave. I'll update you on what happened later." Erwin nodded understandingly and left.

Hanji bombarded Sophia with meaningless questions as she wiped her muddy face with a wet washcloth. It seemed to help keep her awake but when she asked how this all happened, Sophia shut up like a clam. Hanji didn't persist; she would find out eventually. She always did.

She helped Sophia out of her dirty clothes and into cleaner ones. Then she proceeded to clean her wounds. The cut on her head was indeed deep and in need of stitches. Sophia barely flinched she Hanji sewed the wound shut. Her knuckles were also bloody and raw. Hanji concluded she suffered from a little bone bruising too. When she was all patched up, Hanji decided to go to the mess hall.

"I'm gonna go get you some breakfast ok? You need to eat to recover." Sophia nodded solemnly. But when Hanji returned, she was nowhere to be found.

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A/N: Your comments and votes will make me write faster...just saying :D