Love Story - Emily X Scarlett

Part 22

Emilys pov

It's been a couple of days since Lizzie came around and gave me a pep talk. I haven't spoken to Scarlett since the day mom came around and i did miss the meeting with Rose. Scarlett didn't phone me to ask where i was, there was nothing. So i guess she knows we are over as well. 

The doorbell rings and i look out the window. Fuck. Why a black mercedes. I stand in-front of the door picking the skin at my nails thinking on whether to answer or not. A part of me feels like a should but another feels like i definitely shouldn't. She knocks softly, tentative as if she knows there's a possibility i might not answer.   

There's another knock a bit louder this time like she's desperate for me to answer. I close my eyes whilst I figure out what to do when there's a knock again. I pull the door slowly towards me and I'm met with her green emerald eyes. Her eyes are blood shot, red rimmed like she hasn't been sleeping. Big black bags under her eyes have tried to be covered up by makeup. The airs heavy, we haven't spoke in days which makes speaking even more impossible and fragile.

"Em" Scarlett begins, her voice knowing how much damage she's caused me "I didn't think you'd open the door" I stand and listen to what she's saying. I don't know if it's sadness, anger or relief. I look down at her hands, she's twiddling her ring around the finger. "Why did you come here Scarlett?' I ask looking at my white wall trying not to cry "..you were supposed to come to my house on Friday" I bite my teeth together and close my eyes "I didn't want to see you. You've caused me so much pain Scarlett" she looks up and nods. I can see her nose moving as she tries to stop herself crying "..i know. I'm sorry" I shake my head "that's not good enough. I didn't tell you because I wasn't ready and you should have guessed that" it comes out harsher than intended but it feels good. Scarlett nods, her body relaxing "I know and I know I fucked up" I fold my arms and nod "yeah, you did. Why didn't you phone?' "I..I didn't know what to say. I didn't know if you wanted to see be ause I wouldn't want to see myself if I was you". I feel the heat rise in my chest and tears slowly fill my eyes glossing over them as I control my emotions "I wanted to see you Scarlett" I say my voice breaking "but I can't do this anymore. I can't be with you after everything....why did you think that was a good question to ask? He's not here is he, neither of them are here so I think you could have taken a wild guess as to why I didn't tell you" Scarlett flinches at the words. I didn't mean to lash out, well I did, it hurts being in so much pain that she caused. So much pain that someone I love caused.

"I wasn't trying to hurt you Em and your right, I didn't think' tears fall down my cheeks as I listen how ever hard im trying not to listen "I don't know what I'm doing either. I don't know how to fix it. I don't know how to make things better. But I'm here now and I know I can't lose you" she moves closer but I walk back making her stop. I wipe my eyes careful of my mascara "..I'm angry at you..for this pain your caused me. But I don't know if that's fair. I don't know if you even caused it" I look up at her "..I know Em and grief is such a strong and heavy weight that you shouldn't have to carry. I know I've hurt you and I've made all these emotions so raw but I would really like to make this all better if you let me".

I close my eyes feeling her hand on my arm remembering what our relationship used to be like. I want to push her away and tell her to leave but at the same time, her presence is warming. "Scarlett" i say tilting my head to the side trying not to look at her "Em you need to let me in" i sigh "i cant let you in. I dont know how let anyone in". Scarlett isn't quick to say anything, she just stands there and listens to everything i'm saying. I decide to look at her, i dont know why, something just told me to. "i'm not ready to talk about it. You'll have to wait" "that's all i can ask for" she smiles softly.  

Scarletts pov

I take my hand off Emily's arm. I can see she's still hurting and she's hurting because of me. "i'm going to go home now...give you time" i smile looking at her lips. All i want to do is kiss her again and i know now isn't the right time. "you can stay and have a coffee" she offers but i shake my head "it's alright. I should go home release Roses nanny" she nods understanding what i'm trying to say "okay. Phone me okay?" i nod and open her door "i love you. Sorry" i say, Em smiles and watches me as i leave.