Clyde's Sacrifice

The Only Chapter

Lincoln quickly opened the front door and let his best home boy Clyde Mcbride inside.
"How much time do we have?" Clyde asked, panting from the running that had taken place before the story started.
"I don't know, this is just a one-shot the writer is doing on his lunch break." Lincoln replied.
"How are we supposed to have an adventure in that amount of time?" Asked Clyde.
"Maybe it's not going to be an adventure," Lincoln speculated, "maybe it will just be build-up to a punchline."
The two boys went upstairs and saw the door to Lucy's room was open.
"Oh my gosh!" Clyde said when he looked inside, "What's Lucy doing?"
"Lisa gave her some special glasses for Christmas, " Lincoln explained, "that allow her to see and interact with the grim reaper. When she fist saw him, she said that she couldn't think of a better way to lose her virginity."
"Ok, never mind," Clyde shuddered, "I get why all those dead bodies are there."
The two boys then went into Lincoln's room and gasped when they saw what was inside, and they didn't just say 'gasp' like Lucy, they actually did it because they're not phonies like she is. Anyway, what they saw in Lincoln's room was Luna and Leni on Lincoln's bed, wearing nothing but their underwear and seductive smiles.
"Guess what, Linky~" Luna said in a playful yet seductive voice, "The author made me break up with Sam, so I'm single now~"
"Oh God!" Lincoln cried, "It's one of those fanfics!"
"Go!" Clyde ordered, "I'll hold them off."
"But what if they bang you?" the white boy asked, his voice a-quivering.
"Then it won't be incest," the black boy replied, "just underage smut."
Lincoln patted Clyde on the butt, which surprised both of them, then went out into the hall. He stopped when he saw Lisa standing there, wearing the same stoic resting bitch face she does in the show.
Lincoln gulped and asked, "A-Are you going to bang me?"
"I may be the smartest character on the show," she replied, adjusting her glasses, "but I'm only four years old, therefore I only have the physical needs of a four year old."
Lincoln let out a sigh of relief.
"However," Lisa continued, "I can not say the same for the others, so you should still evacuate the premises."
"You're tearing me apart, Lisa!" Lincoln cried before bolting down the stairs and out the front door. He headed for Rusty's house, knowing that Rusty was too ugly to be shipped with him. When he finally arrived, Rusty greeted him and asked, "Where's Clyde?"
Lincoln lowered his head and somberly answered, "He sacrificed himself so I could get away from my horny sisters."
Rusty gasped, "Wow, what a guy!"
Lincoln nodded, "What a guy indeed."

The Ending

Notes:

RIP in peace, Clyde Mcbride.