Illicit Affairs │Justin Bieber

During: Sometimes it's hard to face reality

hi!

the chapter title is a line from "hard 2 face reality" by justin and poo bear. somewhere in the chapter justin will sing, imagine that this is the song.

a little note: the release dates of the songs 'friends' and 'hard 2 face reality' mentioned in the song are not the same as the official ones. this chapter is set in december 2017, so friends was (fictionally) released in early 2017, january or february, and hard 2 face reality is being released in late december!

POV: Isabela

Standing by the window, I watch the city lights blink awake in a rhythm that feels foreign and empty. My hotel rooms are quiet, a silence I'm used to now, with Noah choosing to be anywhere but here. Sometimes he crashes in his own room, after being out partying late into the night; other times, he comes back early in the morning, knocking on my door. There wasn't a night on the tour where we spent the whole night in the same room. The only steady company I have is Lauren, and, honestly, it's the only company I look forward to.

With her, there's a warmth and familiarity I don't have to question, no weight pressing down on every word or look exchanged. In each city, she drags me out between interviews and shoots, finding corners of these places that we'll forget as soon as we leave, but for a few hours, they feel like ours. I miss my dad and my sister so much, people I never fail to see for more than 7 days. I miss my house, my bed, my bathroom. And I miss Justin.

I miss him desperately. I miss the way he smells, the way his skin feels against mine, the way his eyes shine when he smiles. I miss the sound of his laugh, the warmth of his arms wrapped around me when I feel sad or angry, the way he seems to understand what I'm thinking without me having to say a word. I miss his stupid jokes and the way he looks at me, like I'm the only person in the room.

I miss how he listens-not just to my words, but to every unspoken part of me that I can't put into sentences. I miss waking up beside him, the quiet mornings when we'd barely speak and just be, the peace that comes with knowing he's there, right next to me. Even the way he fidgets with things when he's anxious or annoyed-I'd take it all, every small piece of him, if it meant being close to him for five minutes these days.

After spending a few hours trying to sleep, I feel my body finally start to relax-until my phone rings beside me. I see that it's Justin calling me over FaceTime and answer groggily, "Hey," I say, my voice coming out hoarse.

"Hey, beautiful," Justin says softly, a wide smile spreading across his face. "Did I wake you?"

"Mm, kinda," I murmur, propping myself up on my elbow. "But it's okay. I was barely sleeping anyway."

He smiles even wider and brighter. "I got your postcard today."

"Did you like it?" I say, rubbing my eyes.

"Of course," he says. "I like everything you do."

I let out a quiet laugh. "How was your meeting?"

He sighs from the other side of the screen. "It went... okay. The label's pushing me to release a whole album at once, but they finally settled for the singles I've been putting out. Did you have time to listen to the new track I sent you? It's officially out tomorrow"

"I have," I say, smiling as his expression lights up. "You're really talented, Justin Bieber. Maybe they're right about you."

He laughs out loud, his eyes crinkling. "That's because I have a very special muse."

"Oh, really?" I say, matching his playful tone.

"Really," he teases, leaning closer to the camera like he could somehow reach out and touch me. "You see, she's been on such a long trip that I actually had time to write something and get it out."