Love Her, Not Me

Chapter 1: "The Ties that Bind"

Note:
"Please, if you do not like this story, leave. Don't give me hate comments, I'm too tired to deal with those."

Warning:
Swearing??
_____________________________________

Chapter 1: "The Ties that Bind

The first day of high school wasn't supposed to feel this overwhelming, Ray thought as he made his way through the crowded hallways. Kids darted in every direction, some laughing with friends, others looking just as lost as he felt. Somewhere in this chaos, he was supposed to find his homeroom class. He glanced down at the schedule clutched in his hand, trying to make sense of the maze of rooms and corridors.

He was adjusting his glasses when someone bumped into him from behind, sending his schedule fluttering to the floor. As he scrambled to pick it up, his face flushed. High school wasn't off to the best start.

That's when he heard a voice.

"Need some help?"

Ray looked up and saw a boy standing there, holding out the schedule he'd just dropped. He was slightly taller, with dark hair and a laid-back, friendly smile. There was something calm about him, like he wasn't fazed at all by the first-day madness.

"Oh, uh... thanks," Ray said, taking his schedule back. He felt a little silly, but the boy just smiled, not judging him at all.

"No problem. I'm Matthew, by the way," he said, sticking out his hand.

"Ray," he replied, shaking it awkwardly.

"Looks like we're both lost," Matthew said with a laugh, glancing around the hallway. "Want to figure it out together?"

Ray felt a little surge of relief at that. "Yeah, that would be... yeah, thanks."

They walked through the halls together, checking room numbers and dodging the crowds. It turned out they were both heading to the same homeroom, and once they found it, they slipped in and took seats near the back. Ray was still nervous, but something about Matthew's easygoing attitude made him feel a little better.

---

Over the next few weeks, Matthew and Ray became practically inseparable. They shared a couple of classes and quickly developed an unspoken routine-walking to class together, sharing lunch, and hanging out after school to study. Matthew was a calm presence in Ray's life, a friend who didn't seem to care about Ray's awkwardness or his tendency to ramble on about his favorite books and hobbies. For the first time, Ray felt like he had someone who truly got him.

One afternoon, they were sitting under a tree near the edge of the schoolyard, watching the soccer team practice. Ray pushed his glasses up his nose, feeling self-conscious as a group of popular kids passed by, laughing and throwing glances their way. Ray had always been an easy target, with his thick glasses, pimples, and a tendency to stammer when he got nervous. But whenever he was with Matthew, it didn't bother him quite as much.

Matthew noticed his expression and nudged him with his shoulder. "Hey, don't let them get to you. They're just bored and looking for someone to pick on."

Ray forced a smile. "Easier said than done. I mean... look at me."

Matthew looked at him seriously. "I am looking at you, Ray. And I don't see anything wrong."

Ray blinked, a little surprised by the kindness in his friend's tone. He opened his mouth to say something, but the words stuck in his throat. His heart beat a little faster, and he glanced away, hoping Matthew couldn't see the redness creeping up his cheeks.

---

As their first year went on, Ray found himself feeling something more than friendship for Matthew, though he didn't quite know what to call it yet. He just knew that he liked being around Matthew more than anyone else. He wanted to be there when Matthew laughed, to be the one he shared secrets with. Matthew had a way of making Ray feel seen, like he mattered in a way no one else did.

But it wasn't until the spring dance that Ray realized the full extent of his feelings. They'd decided to go together, neither of them particularly excited about the dance but curious to see what it was like. The gym was packed with students, the air thick with excitement and the scent of cologne. Ray felt a little out of place in his button-down shirt and slightly-too-big tie, but Matthew had insisted he looked fine.

As they stood near the edge of the gym, watching everyone dance, Ray's heart raced. He wanted to tell Matthew how he felt, to somehow find the words. He took a shaky breath, summoning his courage, and turned to him.

"Hey, Matt?" he began, his voice barely audible over the music.

Matthew looked over, raising an eyebrow. "Yeah?"

Ray hesitated, his nerves tangling into knots. "I... I really like spending time with you. Like, more than... more than just friends."

There was a pause, and Ray's heart sank as he saw the surprised look on Matthew's face. For a split second, he hoped that maybe Matthew felt the same, that maybe this could be more than just friendship. But then Matthew's expression softened, and he reached out to gently squeeze Ray's shoulder.

"Ray... I'm flattered, really. But I just don't feel that way," he said gently, his tone full of kindness and understanding. "You're my best friend, and that's never going to change, okay?"

Ray nodded, forcing a smile even though his chest ached. "Yeah... yeah, of course. I get it."

They didn't talk about it again, and life went on as normal, though Ray felt a lingering sadness he couldn't quite shake. He tried to act like nothing had happened, like he was fine just being Matthew's friend. And in time, things did go back to normal-almost.

---

But the feelings didn't go away. In their second year, he tried again. This time, it was after a late night of studying at Matthew's house. They'd spent hours working through assignments, laughing and sharing stories until Ray's heart felt like it was going to burst. It felt like the right moment, and he couldn't hold back any longer.

"Matthew," he said quietly, breaking the silence as they sat on the floor surrounded by textbooks and notebooks. "I know I told you this last year, but... I still like you. A lot."

Matthew looked at him, a mixture of sadness and frustration crossing his face. "Ray, we've talked about this," he said softly. "I care about you, but I just... I can't be what you want."

Ray nodded, his throat tight. "I know. I just thought... maybe things had changed."

Matthew reached out and gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "I'm sorry, Ray. I don't want to hurt you. You're my best friend. That's all I know how to be."

After that, Ray started to pull away, the weight of his feelings too heavy to carry. He couldn't stand the constant reminder that Matthew didn't feel the same, that he would always be the friend, nothing more. The distance grew slowly, almost imperceptibly, but by their third year, it was clear to both of them that things had changed.

---

In their third year, Ray tried one last time, though he knew it was probably a mistake. They'd just left the school dance, and he and Matthew were walking home together in the cool night air. Ray couldn't shake the urge to tell him one more time, to put everything out there.

"Matthew," he said, stopping on the sidewalk under the glow of a streetlight. "I still... I still have feelings for you. I don't know if I'll ever stop."

Matthew looked at him, his eyes filled with sadness. "Ray... you know how I feel. I don't want to hurt you, but... I don't feel the same."

Ray took a shaky breath, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to spill. He nodded, managing a small, sad smile. "Yeah. I get it. Thanks for... for being honest."

Matthew gave him a hug, holding him tight, and Ray clung to him, savoring the moment even though he knew it wasn't what he wanted. As they pulled apart, Ray knew that something between them had changed, maybe for good. He'd put his heart on the line three times, and each time, Matthew had gently handed it back. It was time to let go, to find a way to move on, no matter how hard it felt.

The rest of high school passed in a blur, and though they stayed friends, there was always an unspoken distance between them-a reminder of the feelings Ray had tried so hard to forget.