Loving a married Xhosa man

12.

Msimelelo

I was coming back from work when I stepped into the house, I let out a deep sigh and sank into the couch, stretching out my legs and letting the weight of the day melt away. My mind drifted, almost automatically, to thoughts of Dikeledi.

Her laughter, her warmth, the way she looked at me as if I was the only person in the world. It felt like a dream, those moments we’d shared. I could still feel the lightness, the thrill, that being around her gave me. It was something I hadn’t felt in a long time - a feeling I’d tried to push away, and yet I couldn’t resist. Another thing that made me appreciate her more, was the fact that she had forgave me for lying to her, I was wrong and I tried to show her how sorry I was.

I was so deep in my thoughts that I didn’t hear my wife come in. When I looked up, she was standing there, smiling at me, her eyes bright and full of affection. I straightened up, feeling a pang of guilt, but I quickly masked it with a smile.

“Umfazi wam omhle endimthanda kakhulu. How are you doing?”

She joined me on the couch, sliding close and kissing me softly.

"I’m fine, baby. I missed you. Ungaze undishiye ngolo hlobo kwakhona, yeva? Rather… ulale esofeni kwixesha elizayo. Ndiku funa apha, nokuba siyacaphukelana. Yeva, sthandwa sam?"

Her words stirred something in me, and I pulled her close, feeling the comfort of her presence.

We kissed, gently at first, but soon we were wrapped up in each other, the tension between us melting away as we lost ourselves in the moment. She laughed softly against my lips, and I felt a genuine warmth bloom in my chest as we held each other.

After a while, we lay there together, tangled up on the couch, her head resting against my shoulder. I kissed her on the forehead and smiled, feeling a strange mix of calm and guilt that I couldn’t quite shake.

“I’ve got to shower and get ready for a Zoom meeting.” I said softly, reluctant to leave her side but knowing I needed to get myself together.

She nodded, giving me one last lingering look before I left the living room.

I walked into the bedroom, and the second I saw it, I froze. My bag - the one I had left at Dikeledi’s apartment, was sitting on the bed. I blinked, trying to make sense of it, wondering if my mind was playing tricks on me. But there it was, exactly as I’d left it, with everything inside just as I remembered.

I cleared my throat, swallowing hard, and glanced toward the bathroom, my mind racing. How did it get here? Did Dikeledi come by and leave it? Or… did Innocentia know?

I felt my heart pounding as I headed into the shower, trying to calm my nerves, the warm water doing little to ease the anxiety rising within me. I ran through a dozen different explanations in my mind, none of them making any sense. By the time I was done, I felt no closer to understanding what was going on.

Wrapping a towel around myself, I walked back to the bedroom - and this time, Innocentia was standing there, right next to the bed, a faint smile on her lips. She looked at me with an expression that I couldn’t read, but something about it made my blood run cold. I hesitated, forcing myself to return her gaze, unable to find the words to ask her what I desperately wanted to know.

"Is everything okay my baby?" She asked after the long silence.

I nodded without saying a word.

I then went to the lounge and prepared for my zoom meeting. She decided to join me, though she was sitting on the other side. I'd be lying if I say I was focused on the meeting - the whole time I was swimming in a pool of confusion, asking myself endless questions.

After the meeting was wrapped up, I decided to go out just for some fresh air or even fetch our son from my parents house.

"My baby, I want to go and chill with Stephen for a bit. Is that okay?" I had to ask - after all, strange things were happening in our house and I didn’t want to step on her toes.

She smiled.

"Why are you asking? You know I don't have a problem with you going out to see your friends, and besides, Stephen is family."

"Alright then. I might fetch Okuhle, so don't cook dinner. We'll have a movie night, just the three of us. I love you, let me go." I kissed her then headed to the garage.

I drove out of the yard, just after pressing the button for closing the gate - I noticed something on the passenger seat. An envelope.

My heart skipped a beat.

I mean, my wife had been acting strange lately, doing strange things to me indirectly and I didn't even know what was inside the envelope. A part of me wanted to throw it away but curiosity won - I grabbed it and took out whatever was inside.

It was Dikeledi’s ID copy.

I cleared my throat trying to make sense of what I just saw.

It was clear my wife knew about my affair with Dikeledi. Of course she was bound to know, she was one of the best private investigators. What confused me the most was the fact that she wasn't saying anything verbally, all she did was to communicate through giving me hints that screamed "yeah, I know about the affair."

I took a deep breath then drove to Stephen’s place. I couldn’t risk going to Dikeledi’s apartment, what if Inno was following me?