GUILTY (Mxm)

1

*TRIGGER WARNING*

This novel contains graphic and disturbing content, including:

- Violence and murder
- Strong language and profanity
- Emotional and psychological abuse
- Obsession and toxic relationships
- Mature themes and triggering situations

Reader discretion is advised.

*CONTENT WARNING FOR SENSITIVE READERS*

If you are easily disturbed or triggered by graphic content, please exercise caution while reading this book.

I sit amidst the dingy shadows, enveloped by the stench of neglect. A week – or is it an eternity? – has passed since Declan's departure, leaving me shackled to this wretched existence. The darkness seems to suffocate me, an unrelenting shroud that wraps around my soul.

My mind reels with the weight of my conscience, the crushing burden of what-ifs. If only I had listened, if only I had been wiser, if only... The torment of my thoughts rivals the agony etched on my body. Each bruise tells a story of regret, every wound a testament to my folly.

Time lost all meaning in this bleak confinement. Days blend into nights, hours dissolve into an endless expanse of nothingness. I've lost count of the moments I've spent wallowing in self-loathing, my heart heavy with the weight of sorrow.

My eyes, once bright and full of life, now hang limp, swollen from the deluge of tears. The Sahara desert would envy the ocean I've cried, yet the ache within me remains unquenched. The radiance that once defined me has faded, extinguished by the crushing blow of my own mistakes.

In this desolate room, I'm forced to confront the shadows of my past. The silence is deafening, punctuated only by the haunting whispers of my conscience. Madness creeps in, its icy tendrils snaking through my mind, threatening to consume me whole.

My reflection would be unrecognizable to those who once knew me. Sunken cheeks, hollow eyes, and skin stretched taut over brittle bones. My body, once strong and resilient, now trembles with each faint heartbeat. The frailty of my form mirrors the fragility of my spirit.

As I huddle in this pitiful state, I realize that my greatest tormentor is not Declan, but myself. The weight of my regret hangs heavier than any chain, more suffocating than the darkness surrounding me.

In this abyss, I'm forced to confront the devastating truth: my actions have forged these shackles, and only I can find the strength to break free.

Memories of that fateful day still linger, etched in my mind like scars on my soul. The grey clouds had shrouded the sun, mirroring the darkness that had consumed me. I had hit rock bottom, drowning my sorrows in the dingy bar downtown.

My friends and I had been drinking excessively, our laughter and jests a thin veil for the emptiness within. But amidst the chaos, I saw him – the one person I had hoped to avoid. His towering figure, chiseled physique, and fiery red hair made him unmistakable. I had always teasingly called him "Ginger," despite his dislike for the nickname. He had tolerated it, compromising for my sake.

As our eyes met, I sensed a storm brewing. His onyx gaze pierced through my inebriated haze, filled with a fury that made my blood run cold. I tried to muster a smile, to feign nonchalance, but my lips trembled.

Before I could comprehend the situation, he had taken action. Gunshots shattered the air, and my friends slumped around me, their lifeless bodies crumpling to the ground. Panic set in, but my drunken state numbed the horror.

He approached me, his movements deliberate and menacing. I cowered, expecting the worst. Instead, he lifted me effortlessly, cradling me in his arms. His warmth was a cruel contrast to the cold dread spreading within.

As he carried me away, the world blurred around me. I caught glimpses of unfamiliar streets, alleys, and buildings. My mind reeled, struggling to keep up. Where was I being taken? Why had he spared me?

The memories of that night remain fragmented, but the guilt and shame are ever-present. I deserve this fate. I deserve to rot in this dingy room, surrounded by the stench of my own regret.

My thoughts drift to Declan, the one I had wronged. His warnings had fallen on deaf ears, drowned out by my arrogance and recklessness. I had pushed him away, choosing the false security of my "friends" and cheap thrills.

Now, in this desolate confinement, I face the consequences of my actions. The silence is oppressive, punctuated only by the echoes of my past. My heart weighs heavy with remorse, threatening to crush me.

Tears stream down my face as I confront the devastating truth: I am the architect of my own downfall.