ihwa | hyunchan

08, why do i even care?

"Why did you want to leave so suddenly?" Mr. Kim asked, confused as to why the boy rushed them to leave as quickly as possible.

"There were too many people. I wanted us to have more privacy," the boy pouted, faking a sad expression.

"Privacy, huh? What are you thinking, Jinnie?" the man smirked as he got closer. The boy's body tensed up, but in all the wrong ways, feeling uncomfortable with the man's closeness. It grew harder to keep up his smile, feeling grossed out by Mr. Kim—and by his own actions. He didn't want to do this, but he felt stuck. "Maybe next time, Jinnie. You know my wife and kids are home on the weekends. But don't be too sad; I'll buy you a gift before taking you home."

"What kind of gift?"

"Whatever you like, Jinnie."

The boy's eyes brightened slightly at the thought of going shopping. He hated how easy it was to win him over with just a little cash, but he figured it was better to go out than to head home and dwell on Bang Chan and Jeongin. Still, as they drove to the mall, those two men dominated his thoughts. He couldn't understand why it bothered him so much to see Bang Chan with someone else. It wasn't like they were dating. Hyunjin was just a distraction for Chan from his stressful life—he knew that, right? Then why was he upset? Did he actually like Bang Chan?

Being with Chan never felt like work; it was always so relaxing and genuinely fun, unlike the constant pretense he maintained with other customers. Seeing Bang Chan with someone else made him realize that his feelings had little to do with alcohol and everything to do with Chan himself. Thinking back, all their moments felt real, as if Chan didn't just see him as another host at the bar but as a true friend—or perhaps something more. The way Chan maintained eye contact, the way they sang together, shared small yet intimate touches...

"We're here, Jinnie." Mr. Kim's voice broke into his thoughts as they arrived at the mall's parking garage. They went inside, browsing through various stores, hoping Hyunjin would find something he liked. He tried on a few items, but even in the company of a rich man like Mr. Kim, he couldn't stop worrying about the price tags. Years of being cautious about spending on anything unnecessary or even slightly pricey made him turn down most of the items he tried on. He didn't want to seem like a burden.

"I really like that on you," Mr. Kim said, referring to a black leather jacket—the last piece Hyunjin had tried on. He liked how it showcased his slender figure, and the style matched well with his existing wardrobe. He was torn between his habit of turning things down because of the cost and his genuine desire for the jacket. But Mr. Kim, taking the coat, headed to the cashier before Hyunjin could say anything. Hyunjin felt a bit guilty for accepting it.

They also stopped by a perfume store as Mr. Kim wanted to buy a gift for his wife. Together, they picked out a scent for the woman, who had no idea what her husband was up to when he wasn't home. Hyunjin hated being the "side hoe," but this was how he earned his living. Soon, they returned to the parking lot to head home. Just before arriving at Hyunjin's place, Mr. Kim handed him a small bag. To Hyunjin's surprise, it contained an expensive perfume. He hadn't noticed Mr. Kim buying an extra bottle alongside the one for his wife, as his thoughts had drifted back to seeing Bang Chan with his friend.

"Aww, you shouldn't have."

"You deserve it, Jinnie. Let's meet again soon." Mr. Kim gave him a brief kiss on the lips before driving off. Hyunjin was surprised but happy about the gift. He didn't own any perfume and considered such things unnecessary—not something worth spending his little money on.

After a day out, he decided to take a nap before getting ready to return to the bar. It was Saturday, his busiest night, so he knew he'd need a good rest. Saturdays were packed—attending to multiple groups, sometimes finishing as late as 7 in the morning. His last thoughts were of Bang Chan before he eventually fell asleep.