The long lost Barnes

The Shadows of Hydra

Day Forty-Two: The Recoil of the Past

The quiet tension in the compound had thickened over the last few days, but there was a sense of something else in the air now. A fragile bond was slowly being rebuilt between Bucky and Leia, though it was still tentative. It wasn't perfect. There were still moments of retreat, of self-imposed isolation, but Bucky saw the small steps she was taking to trust him again—and that, for now, was enough.

Leia's past, however, wasn't something she could run from. Hydra had taken so much from her. The cruel experiments, the broken memories, the way they had stolen years from her—it was impossible to just "move on." And though she was now surrounded by the Avengers, surrounded by people who genuinely wanted to help her heal, the darkness still clung to her like a shadow she couldn't outrun.

Bucky knew that sooner or later, the truth would have to come out. Not just about Hydra's latest experiments, but about what they had done to her—what they had turned her into. It wasn't just the files from the Arctic that haunted her, but the silent scars, the things that couldn't be erased. Things only Leia knew.

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The day started like any other, with the team preparing for another mission briefing. The plan was to infiltrate a Hydra base rumored to be developing weapons with stolen Stark tech. But as Steve outlined the operation, Bucky's mind kept drifting back to Leia.

She had been quieter than usual. Not distant, not like before, but subdued, almost like she was lost in thought. It wasn't unusual for someone who had lived through what she had, but this was different. There was something heavy in her eyes today.

Bucky watched her from across the table, his mind racing. He knew that every conversation, every fleeting moment between them, was leading to something deeper. She was still carrying a weight, a burden that no one else could truly understand. And she hadn't shared the full extent of her past. Not with him, not with Steve.

But Bucky knew—deep down—that it was time.

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After the briefing, as the team dispersed, Bucky waited outside the common room. He knew Leia would head back to her quarters soon, as she usually did after meetings. She kept to herself, spending most of her time alone, either reviewing the mission intel or taking time to clear her head. But tonight, Bucky couldn't let it go. He needed to know.

He didn't want to push her, but if they were going to move forward—if they were going to heal—he needed to understand.

When Leia passed by, her head down, her footsteps soft against the floor, Bucky fell into step beside her. She didn't immediately acknowledge him, but he could tell she wasn't unaware of his presence.

"Leia," he said gently, his voice breaking the silence between them. "Can we talk?"

She hesitated for a moment, then stopped in her tracks. He could see her internal struggle—how she was weighing her options, how every part of her body wanted to retreat, but she was holding herself still.

"I don't want to go back there, Bucky," she said quietly, almost as if she were speaking to herself, not to him. "Not yet."

He was silent for a long beat, letting her words settle in the space between them. Then, with a soft nod, he took a step closer. "You don't have to. I'm not asking you to relive anything. But I need to understand. Please."

Leia's expression hardened for a moment, but it was quickly replaced with a familiar mask of indifference. She seemed to be gathering her strength, trying to decide whether to share her past, or to lock it away for just a little longer.