the cold heart of evermore

dreadful days

i take a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. i knew there was no way to escape this reality. my hands are clenched together, my eyes shut. i'm
nervous, anxious even. why wouldn't i be?

i'm getting engaged

that thought runs through my mind, a million times a minute. i feel like the ground is spinning, my head feeling dizzy. am i having a panic attack? i can't breathe, i can't stop thinking of all the bad things that could happen when i walk into his room. just breathe! just breathe!

"anastasia!"

i hear my name and suddenly im shaken out of the trance that i was in. "hm?" i reply with a short hum, turning around to see my personal maid, alyssa.

i feel better now, seeing a friendly face. my face softens but i can see the look on hers.

she's worried.

she sees the terror in my eyes, the flush on my pale cheeks. i bring a hand to her shoulder, caressing it gently. "i'm okay." i mutter, trying to reassure the poor girl that im fine. if i good just reassure somebody that i was okay, maybe i could convince myself?

she gives me a small smile but i can tell she's forcing it which just makes me feeling a teensy bit worse. i let out a large puff of air, turning around to face the big double doors. "is he gonna murder me?" i ask her and her eyes widen, looking at me with a dumbfounded expression on her face.

"turn me into a alien? chop me up.?" i use a playful tone and she starts to get it. her face softens and she gives me a genuine smile, even a little giggle which makes me smile in return.

i knew that he wasn't that bad. i have never met the man but i was hoping he wouldn't be a terrible person. i mean, i've heard things about him. he's a powerful man, the prince of course. he was the slayer of all men, protector of our kingdom but i still wasn't sold on being his wife.  

i tilt my head and give alyssa another smile to reassure her that i'm okay before open the big wooden doors and walk in.

....

of course it's like all of the air gets sucked out of the room. all eyes are on me and i feel like i'm about to explode with embarrassment. i mentally curse myself for even being born into a royal family.

my eyes scatter across the room, flickering between my mother, father and the king and queen.

i myself am a princess. i just live and come from a different kingdom. born into the royal family, i've been learning how to become the next queen as soon as i could walk then as soon as i hit puberty, my mother and father, shoved me into meeting boys. now being the age of 19, im about to get married to a complete stranger because my father says that 'it will help unite our kingdoms' such bullshit.

my mother snaps me out of my thoughts by greeting me and telling me to sit down beside her. out of all the goddamn people in this room, from the queen herself to the damn entertainer (joke) i don't see the person that's the most important in this whole charade.

i sit patiently, hands in my lap, fidgeting with the ruffle of my dress. the atmosphere of the room is suffocating and i absolutely hate it.

there's actually no way that the man doesn't show up. i've been listening to the queen and my mother yap about shopping and the daily fucking bugle for the past hour and there's no sight of the 'ice prince'.

at some point i started staring at the door in nervousness when my mother taps me on the thigh, i look up at her, my eyes searching hers. "where is he?" i bluntly ask, her eyes narrowing slightly at me for being so rude.

the queen looks over at me, wondering what my mother and i are talking about. what an intruding woman. i look back at my mom for an answer. she just sighs, rolling her eyes at me like im the one that's been late for the past hour.

i wanted this to be over with. i wanted him to shove the ring on my finger, give me a big fat kiss on the alter and then we are happily-

"he's not coming."

what.

i instantly turn to my mother, my neck breaking at how fucking fast i look at her. my eyes are full of fire and im staring her down as she drinks her tea and eats her fucking biscuits like she didn't just tell me that THE prince is NOT coming to meet HIS fiance.

if i didn't think i could go any crazier, here i was. "what?!" i shout.

my mother almost spits out her drink, giving me a surprised look. everyone in the room looks at me, freezing and just watching as i almost crash out. i take a deep breath, side eyeing my mother. "what." i practically grit out.

...

there was no way that i was gonna let this slide. i have been waiting, dreading to be exact, the days that i would meet this man and he has the audacity to not come meet me when he's supposed to? oh hell no.

i'm speeding, my pace is so fast, im sprinting down the corridors. my hands clutch the middle of my dress, making sure i don't trip and fall.

i'm in my own mind, raging about how he could care less about my time and energy.

...

"oh yeah, he's in training." my mother says to me casually while my eye twitches at her. training? he skipped his time to meet me for training?!

....

you should have seen the look on my mothers face when i ran out of the room in a hurry, now scurrying my way towards the training area of the palace.

i will not let a man treat me this way! even if im literally embedded to him and practically is wife but who cares-

"fuck!" i curse, my body slamming into what feels like a wall at how hard it is.

im dazed, looking up to see a tall blonde man looming over me. i blink a couple times to see a pearly white smile on his face. who is this?

"quite a mouth on you huh?" he asks, chuckling as he places his hands on my biceps to steady me. i drop my dress, panting softly from the way i was running not too long ago.

he looks down at me, eyes soft and full
of amusement at my cursing as he waits for an answer. "uh yeah i guess-" i try saying, stuttering slightly.

he turns his head, giving me a warm smile. his smile reaches his pretty blue irises, a bead of sweat running down his forehead. my eyes flicker off to the side for a moment, only to see a sign that reads 'training arena'.

ohhh.

i look back at him, his eyes meeting mine. i wonder who this is? he's mesmerizing.

"i'm-." the mans starts to speak but only to get over shadowed by a deeper, more cold voice.

"anastasia." huh?

the blonde haired man looks past me, only making me turn around as well.

no fucking way it's him.