Forgetful Marriage

The Wedding

[LILLIAN POV]:

I suck in a breath as Fiona tightens the white corset around my body, it was the day of my marriage and I was already having a hard time trying to fit in my wedding dress. Fiona sighs, trying to pull as hard as she can. "Miss, it's not working."

"Try again then." I huff. "I must fit into this; it belongs to mother." Fiona tugs at the strings again, and my body is immediately pulled into the corset, it hurts but it's bearable. This is the same dress my mother wore when she married my father, it is something she had entrusted to me before she passed away.

I look out the window in my chamber, my eyes falling onto the birds sitting at the tree. Two large birds and three smaller, they were a family. Even animals seem to have better relations than people, perhaps that bird will not trade its offspring to a kingdom it has not ever seen. I turn back to look at myself in the mirror and sigh.

Fiona places a veil on my head, covering my face down to my waist. It was the last thing I needed to do before I walk down the aisle. Before I stop breathing.

She straightens the edge of my gown. "You look beautiful Miss." I nod at her, ignoring her comment and she quickly exits the room, leaving me all alone to soak in my misery. The word beautiful rang in my ear, there was nothing beautiful about being sent to a slaughterhouse to marry a man that you have only heard whispers about. horrifying whispers.

I gripped onto the bouquet I was holding, almost crushing the stems. I could feel the fear in my veins. The door opened rather quickly, making me jump to my feet. It was time. I was about to get married.

The walk to the hall was not long, it felt like time passed quickly because my mind had spiraled its thoughts into every possibility of what might happen today. I stand behind the large door, one step away from being locked in a cage. I let out a weak smile when I realize how I was willingly handing myself over to the wolves.

The door opens and I am immediately met with eyes staring at me. Some whispered, some smiled, some looked like they would rather be reading the newspaper at their estates than be here. My eyes trailed to the front where my father sat, the place next to him empty. The space seemed almost consuming, perhaps that was the power of mothers hold in my life.

My heart stopped when I looked at the man standing next to the priest, it was him. Emperor Julian. My husband to be. I could feel his gaze on me, he seemed to be analysing me and I felt nervous under his watch while I walked up to the altar. Jittery, because the man who stood next to me was beautiful. He was nothing like I had imagined. Even though I was looking at him through my veil I could clearly see his eyes, the most alluring shade of green.

The priest started the ceremony, but I could not think of anything, my thoughts had all been stolen by the fact that I was standing in front of so many people, getting married, to a man who does not look like the whispers. If I dared to assume, I'd say he was kind but I know better than that.

---

The ceremony was a blur, all I remembered was the words 'I do' swiftly leaving my mouth without much afterthought. I glanced at my husband, whose hand I was clutching onto as we made our way to my father. It was a final exchange of goodbyes, before I leave for good.

I looked up to gaze at my father, the wrinkles on his head had multiplied from the last time I saw him. worry welled up only to die down when I saw him smile, perhaps father giving me away was the only way to help our country. My fingers tighten around Julian and I feel his gaze on me when I do that.

He clears his throat and my grip loosens. "My apologies, I was-" before I could say anything else he smiled, and knot in my throat untangled and the feeling of uneasiness left my body. I turned back to father and smiled at him, placing my hand on his. "I will be alright father, please take care of yourself." Father nodded, before bidding me goodbye. He did not hold onto me for longer as if all this time he was waiting to get rid of me and all I could do was bite my lip.

I winced, turning away from my only family. This was it for us. My father who had me out of his duty to the kingdom, has everything he wanted. I held onto Julian's arm, and he led me to the carriage we were to take to the kingdom of Fioreh. He helped me enter and then followed closely behind. There was a peaceful silence when I sat, perhaps I was not going to enter a slaughter house. Perhaps the days of my life were about to be just as peaceful.

I locked eyes with Julian who sat in front of me, he seemed relaxed, slightly tired. The door of the carriage closed behind us and immediately I could feel a shift in the air, it felt colder. Jullian pulled at his collar, unbuttoning it to let it free. He ruffled his hair; it was the opposite of what I had seen throughout the ceremony. His eyes did not look at me with the same kindness I had seen in the wedding hall.

A shiver ran down my spine, making me open my mouth to make conversation. "The journey here must have been tiring." He held my gaze but did not answer. I tried again. "Are you not tired?"

"Let's drop the act Lillian." He spoke. I blinked, unsure of what he meant. My mind was swirling and I did not know how to keep up with the rising tension. There was edge to his voice and it messed with my feelings. He is nice. He is nice.

Is he nice?

"Are you not tired, Lily?' It was our first meeting and he had already chosen how to address me. "I presumed you to be smarter than that."

The confusion had not stopped, instead his words only added to it. Why did this man speak like he knew me? He ran his fingers through his hair as if losing his patience. "Lillian." My name rolls off his tongue so easily, like he doesn't have to get used to it, like it isn't unfamiliar and I break out of my daze.

"I don't know what you mean." I let out, my heart beating quickly. His eyes narrow at my words, I can feel his jaw tighten as he quietly says. "So, not as smart as I had hoped you to be."

"Well, we can continue the conversation after we reach Fioreh." He looked out of the window. "For now, do not disturb my only moments of peace and quiet." He laid back, closing his eyes and my heart started to beat faster than ever.

What had I gotten myself into?  How much farther must I push to hold onto something, anything?

I bit my lip. He is not nice and I must have been desperate to think otherwise.

...

a/n: this was a longer chapter! i hope you are liking it so far,  this was only supposed to show you some of Lillian's feelings, i will keep switching between third and first person. Let me know your thoughts on Lillian and Julian ;D