The Love I Couldn't See

Who Are You?

Edward's pov

How on earth is this possible?
How can the statistics give us such probability?

I couldn't sleep. Thoughts were keeping me from it.

How the hell am I going to face her? After everything I have done to her.
I'm the reason she failed that interview for God's sake.

“Edward. Are you even listening?” Jared asked, taking me out of my line of thoughts.

“I'm listening. I…” What was he saying? “What did she say about the contract?”

“You really didn't listen. She said She will think. It's a lot to process.”

This girl is strange, —What is it to think about?

“Here. Your daughter made this for you.” He gave me a frame, a painting of a butterfly.

I didn't know She was this good painting.

She must have gotten that from me. This is a masterpiece.

The way she played with the colors. Bright, simple yet with a hint of magic. Just a couple of more years, and she can be my designer.

“She wanted to give it to you personally.”

I... I had a meeting to attend. I couldn't... aghh. I'm doing this for her. All I do is.. for her.

Who am I trying to fool?

She reminds me of Christine. Her natural blushed cheeks and dark brown eyes. A replica of the woman who broke my heart, who make feel so much pain… till today. The only thing she got from me is her thick black hair. —That's probably the only thing we have in common after all.

I still didn't get over it. And I'm sorry it's affecting Sarah this much.

It's... a lot.

I was still thinking about everything when the annoying ring of my brother's phone filled the room.

“Hello, this is Jared Wilson. How can I help?... Ohh Bella. It is great to hear from you. How are you?... Couldn't be better. What brings you to call me this early in the morning?... WHAT?! But… I understand…bye.” And he disconnected the call. Disappointment written all over his face.

“What is it?” I was curious.

“She declined. Bella declined the offer.”

“What, why?” —This must be a joke.

“She said she has her reasons. One million dollars, to be a nanny, but still… I don't get it.”

I do. “No one has reasons to give a no as an answer.” She is going to see…

*****
Bella's pov

I woke up after not sleeping much.
I can't sleep with so much going on in my mind.

It's still 7am, but I already did all the housework. The garden is perfect and the food is in the oven.

Mr Wilson gave me his number yesterday.

Why is it being so difficult to call?
What will I do?
What will I say?

I couldn't answer those questions. And it didn't take long till the time I couldn't hold myself and called.

“Hello. Jared Wilson. How can I help?” I felt my heart stop beating for a few seconds. The world stopped and I had a sensation of almost death before it got steady again.

It's a call, just a call. Relax.

“Hello Mr Wilson. It's Bella.”

“Ohh Bella. It is great to hear from you. How are you?”

Alive.
“I'm fine. I hope you're fine too.”

“I couldn't be better. What brings you to call me this early in the morning?” I'm sorry, but I'm about to destroy your morning.

“Well. I called to give you my answer... I decline your offer."

“WHAT? But…”

“Please don't ask me why. I have my reasons. I can't help you.”

“I understand…”

“That you so much for the opportunity. Bye, Mr Wilson.”

“Bye.” And he disconnected the call. Disappointment was heard in his voice.

Accepting this means leaving home. There is a reason I locked myself here. —I can't help you if I can't help myself.

I'm here because outside, people judge you. People hurt you.

I need to do something, but what?
I already did... everything.

When did I start leaving like this?
Oh, that's right. After my marriage.

It was a year ago but the wound hadn't healed yet.

Marcus, why did you do this to me?
I thought you loved me.
Why couldn't you wait for me?
Why did you cheat on me?
Why did you live me like this?

Oh my God, it's starting again... I'm crying.

“Get out of my mind. I don't want to remember.” I said in an almost whisper. This thoughts make me so weak.

“Bella.” I heard from behind.

Ain't I supposed to be alone?
Why are you still here?
I don't want you to see me like this.

“This is all your fault, Bella. You're useless. Stupid. Can't you see how ridiculous you are being right now?”

I turned, but no one was there.

I swear I heard Marcus' voice. My... love.

Am I Insane?

I went to my veranda to divert my mind. I closed my eyes and took a deep deep breath.

The aromas of my garden filled me with a sensation of freedom.

The soft breeze caressed my skin, embracing me like in the most comfortable bed.

I could hear the trees dancing in the rhythm of the wind, and the birds singing beautiful melodies that I can't really understand.

I opened my eyes. The sun, so hot and vibrant, the mountains, so far.

It's so beautiful how everything means so much if we close our eyes. —Things you learn when you wake up everyday to see nothing until you wear your glasses.

“I'm going to be okay.” I said to no one in particular. I can't care too much. I can't give myself another chance to get hurt.

I went back inside and looked around. As usual, silence.

I need to divert my mind.

‘Paint’ Yes. I need to paint.

Frame, paint, brushes.
Dark colors, like my life. Monotonous.
No emotions, no one to care about you, no one for you to care about. —If you get close, you care. If you care, you get hurt.

Here is the final result. Just like my life…

“This is a mess.”

“Can't disagree.” A deep man's voice filled the room, scaring the hell out of me. I turned and discovered that I wasn't alone. There was a man I've never seen before.

Am I still hallucinating?

But I don't know this man.
“Who are you?”