In the name of the Father (ManxMan) | the Wattys | The Wattpad Awards 2013

Chapter 1 - the Father and the once holy Man

Chapter 1 – the Father and the once holy Man

“Hey, Grimaldi,” he growled from the back of his throat, his voice rasped with a shiver that was chilling, “I think I saw something,” he continued, speaking very close to my right ear, huffing wisps of glacial air which did nothing but intensify the titillating cool of the breeze, Keep an eye out. Intel said he boarded this ferry,” he ended his cold sermon unceremoniously because the climate was numbing his speech. I thought I saw his lips whiten with death before he stuck a tongue out to moisten it. He swallowed hard and it made me feel like he gulped daggers as he winced at the action. His face contorted into a look of discomfort as he grated his teeth against the dried and flaked creases of his lips. Indeed Gerard wasn’t used to the cold. He was a proud American, a native Texan who exalted the sun like it was liquid gold. He sniffed and crinkled his nose to stifle a sneeze. It was a hard battle, the coldness won. He looked like Rudolph without the antlers and Bambi legs. He’s a stocky character with a chunky body to match, yet he shrivels in very low temperature. My throat hitched at the irony. I suppressed laughter, but humor won.

Unlike him I was used to the cold. I got used to it ever since my wife died of cancer a few weeks ago. Her case was terminal so we had to give her up. I felt so numb at the time for I was beside her during her last moments. The sight of life leaving her frail body felt like an out-of-body experience to me. I felt her pain, her anguish, and her regrets … but that was just me because those emotions never touched her face. Death hugged her and she embraced it wholeheartedly. She didn’t even cry. She was strong and unfazed. Losing someone might seem normal to most people, yet it’s a haunting milestone to those who got to experience and see it first-hand. My wife and I didn’t have the best relationship. It was more of a union bred out of companionship rather than affection. It was a partnership that brought a child between us. God knows I tried all those years, but I simply couldn’t be what she wanted me to be. It just wasn’t me. I knew myself and who and what I was. I wouldn’t call what we had as love. It felt like an obligation, a contract. She gave me one last look before the spirit fled her eyes. Her gaze communicated forgiveness. And as her pulse flatlined I realized and understood what it felt like to be truly cold.

Since then my veins have turned into filaments of icicles, while my blood the unforgiving waters of the North Pole. My heart and the love it held for life froze over into subzero, yet there were still embers from within that surprisingly ebb whenever I thought of her. In my mind’s eye, her death kept me warm. It made me realize how much life I had in me, and that I deserved warmth no matter how cold things became. And so here I was, basking in the coldness of the Parisian air as Gerard, a colleague of mine, kept a watchful eye at the boat we boarded down the River Seine.

“It’s a commuter boat, Ladicroft, not a ferry. And what purpose does he have for taking a public ride? It would mean his exposure, an untimely and indecent one at that,” I chided starkly.

“Don’t get smart with me Jeanne,” he scrunched his eyebrows towards the center and craned his neck a bit, “Look ahead. The ones seated in front. They are confederates of the Pope,” he nodded towards the group who occupied the settees close to the front. They wore matching outfits.

I fixed my gaze onward and saw that he was right. My failure to notice was attributed to the fact that they had their backs against us which made them look like tourists who happened to wear the same ensemble. The sense of urgency I was supposed to have slipped me. I was too caught up in my reverie of Lucille that I forgot about my duty. I cursed inward then changed tack.

“Damn, Gerard. Why didn’t you tell me that detail when we stepped onto this frigging ferry?”

“I thought you said this was a boat?”