𝑺𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒔

𝒳𝐼

Onika Maraj

As the echoes of that explosive confrontation lingered in the back of my mind, I felt like a lost ship adrift in a turbulent sea. The office was an eerie shell of silence, and posters of past work milestones stared back at me, bleached of any color. I slumped into my chair, pulling my hair back into a messy ponytail, trying to reclaim some semblance of focus, but the weight on my chest felt heavier than any burden I had carried before.

Sevyn, bless her heart, had given me time to breathe—an almost palpable understanding radiating from her as she settled across from me. I could see that she was searching for something to say, catching every flicker of my mood.

"Hey," she began tentatively, her eyes warm yet concerned. "Do you want to talk about it?"

I shook my head, swallowing hard against the emotion that threatened to spill over again. "It was just... a lot. I can't believe things spiraled out like that."

"But it's clear you and Beyoncé have something pretty special," Sevyn replied, resting her chin on her hands. "The chemistry is undeniable."

"Yeah," I murmured, biting my lip as I recalled the countless moments of joy and laughter we had shared. Moments where everything felt complete, before the weight of expectations twisted our friendship into something unrecognizable.

"But?" Sevyn continued, reading between the lines. "I have a feeling you're not just upset over the argument."

"I don't know, Sevyn," I sighed, the pain blooming in my heart once more. "I care about her so much, but the toxicity... it taints everything. We're not just lovers or friends; it's like we're trapped under so many layers of misunderstanding and jealousy."

"Maybe the best thing you can do is take a step back and breathe," she suggested gently. "Love shouldn't feel suffocating, you know? There has to be room for both of your lives without feeling threatened."

I nodded slowly, the realization setting in like one of those dizzy spells that made everything feel a little off-kilter. "I love her, that's the truth. But the way we're operating? It's all wrong. The pressure... It's exhausting."

"Our careers, our friendships, they should enhance our lives—not drown us," Sevyn reassured me with sincerity. "You deserve better than being stuck in a cycle of jealousy and guilt, Nicki."

Just as I was starting to process her words, I felt a rush of heat flush through me, and anger bubbled anew. "Why do I feel guilty for wanting to be happy? Just because I'm not seeking that happiness only from Beyoncé?"

With a soft smile, Sevyn leaned over the desk, encouraging me to find clarity in the chaos. "Because you've put her on this pedestal, and the moment you step down, you start feeling as if you're abandoning her. But it's time to create your own space—you have to remember that you are your own person, Onika. Not just 'Beyoncé's girl.'"

Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes, and I fought them back. "You're right," I admitted, my throat tightening. "I need to focus on me, on *my* happiness, and find a way to keep Beyoncé in my life as an equal again."

Sevyn's smile widened, a warmth radiating from her genuine support. "That's the spirit! You're strong, and I believe in you."

After a few minutes of renewed camaraderie, I decided it was time to leave the office—letting the gravity of the day settle as I stepped into the retreat of the night. Walking through the corridors felt heavy, my thoughts swirling ceaselessly. I needed to clear my mind, to step into a world that didn't revolve around board meetings or celebrity expectations.

"Let's grab some food—my treat for being such a downer today," I suggested with a half-hearted smile to Sevyn as we exited the building.

"Count me in! Pizza, maybe?" she suggested playfully, nudging me with her shoulder.