Maaga akong nagising kinabukasan dahil sa tawag ni Zander. I couldn't help but smile as I answered, already expecting this call. Nasisiguro ko rin na hindi matatapos ang araw ay si Derek naman ang tatawag sa akin.
"Hey, brat," magaan man ay nasa tinig niya pa rin ang pag-aalala. Sanay na ako. It was always like this whenever he was away—he'd call just to check on me, make sure everything was fine. "How are you holding up?"
"Ayos lang naman ako dito. I'm enjoying my vacation. Wala kang kailangan ipag-alala." I assured him, though I could practically hear him raising an eyebrow over the line. He'd never been one to be convinced so easily.
Bukod pa sa nasisiguro kong kinukuwento sa kanila ni Gabby ang lahat ng mga sinasabi ko rin rito.
"Are you sure? I mean, I know Mom can be... persistent."
I could hear the gentle caution in his tone, the way he chose his words carefully. Sanay naman na si Zander sa ganitong sitwasyon. Ganito rin kasi si Gabby noon kay Mommy at nang tumakas ay kay Zander nagtago. Ngayon naman ay kay Gabby ako humingi ng tulong. Oh, Mom. I really hoped she'd get to see what it was like to be her child.
"Persistent? That's an understatement. But, yes, I just needed a bit of space. And it's actually nice here, you know? Quiet. I think it's exactly what I needed."
"I'm glad you're finding some peace," pagpapahinuhod niya kahit pa ramdam kong hindi pa rin siya kumbinsido. "Romee and I were thinking about you. She kept telling me to call earlier, but I didn't want to wake you up too soon."
I smiled, imagining my sister-in-law nudging Zander to check on me even more often than usual. "Tell her I said thanks for looking out. Are you guys still in Paris? Gabi na diyan, ah? Bakit hindi pa kayo natutulog?"
"Yes, we're still in Paris. Tulog na sina Romee at Reema kanina pa. Kinailangan lang talaga kitang tawagan dahil gusto kitang kumustahin."
Napangiti akong lalo. Namiss ko tuloy ang pamangkin ko. Lahat ng mga kapatid ko ay may mga pamilya na, kaya rin siguro excited talaga si Mommy na maikasal ako. Pero ano naman ang magagawa ko? Unlike them, I hadn't found the kind of love that was worthy of building a family. Paano'y puro bakla ang nagugustuhan ko!
Hindi ako galit sa mga bakla. Wala rin akong problema sa kanila. Nakakainis lang. Nakakainis kasi palagi akong nagagamit at naloloko. Napapaniwala. Dammit!
"Ayos lang ako, Zander. Kung magkakaroon man ng problema ay sasabihan ko kayo agad." I replied, appreciating his concern more than words could say. He'd always been the big brother who looked out for me, who made me feel safe no matter what I was going through. And now, even halfway across the world, he was doing the same.
Sa totoo lang ay silang tatlo naman ay ganoon sa akin dahil nga ako ang bunso.
At dahil rin wala pa akong pamilya, sa akin na lang nabubuhos ng husto ang atensyon ni Mommy.
"I'll talk to Mom when we're back," pangako niya.
Napairap na lamang ako sa kawalan. Kahit ano pang gawin niyang pagkausap kay Mommy ay wala naman na iyong mababago. My mom would still want to get involved in all my affairs. Kung paanong ganoon rin siya kay Gabby noon.
"She means well, even if she can be... intense about it. I think once she understands what you're feeling, things will be easier."
"I hope so, Zander. It's just... a lot right now. But thank you."
"Paano ang trabaho mo? Ano nga ba ulit ang trabaho nang huli?" Medyo nanunukso niyang sabi. I rolled my eyes, hindi na ito sigurado dahil pabago-bago ako ng ginagawa.
