Desire (wlw)

XXVI.

XXVI.

Isabel

I lean against the doorway, waiting for Lea to finish gathering her things. The rehearsal room has mostly cleared out, but she's still taking her time, carefully packing up her sheet music and straightening her bag. I watch her for a second longer than I probably should, but I don't really care. She looks up and catches my gaze, and I just smile, shrugging slightly as if I haven't been standing here a bit too long.

Finally, she's ready, and we fall into step beside each other as we leave the rehearsal room and head down the hall. The usual sounds of students and rehearsals echo around us, but for once, we're not at each other's throats or pretending we don't get along. Today felt different—easier, somehow. I glance over at her, catching the way her face softens when she's not so focused on everything around her.

By the time we reach the parking lot, the sun's starting to dip lower in the sky, casting this warm, golden glow over everything. I pull out my phone and check the time: 5 PM. Perfect.

I turn to Lea, a smirk tugging at the corner of my lips as I slide my phone back into my pocket. "I'll pick you up at seven," I say, keeping my voice light but letting the tease linger in my tone. "And dress up for me."

She raises an eyebrow, a hint of surprise flickering across her face before she catches herself. I can tell she's trying to play it cool, but there's a spark in her eyes that gives her away. It's enough to make my smirk widen just a bit.

"Don't keep me waiting," I add, turning to head toward my car before she can say anything back. But as I walk away, I can feel her eyes on me, and I let myself enjoy it.

I start my car and wait until I see Lea get into hers before I pull out of the lot. The drive home is quiet; I don't even turn on any music. I don't know why, really. Usually, I'd blast something loud enough to drown out everything else, but tonight it feels like even that would be too much. So, I let the silence settle in, heavy and unavoidable.

As I drive, my mind starts wandering back to the things I've been trying so hard not to think about. There's so much waiting for me on the other side of this night—the funeral arrangements I still have to finalize for my father, the calls I need to make, the messages I've ignored. The thought of calling my mom, trying to find the right words to say to a woman who's never really known me... it's exhausting just to think about. We haven't spoken in years, and now, here I am, responsible for breaking the news to her, explaining everything. I keep wondering if she'll even care.

And then there's Lea. It's complicated—she's the one bright thing in all this mess, but at the same time, she's a reminder of how hard I've tried to keep my walls up. I told myself I didn't need anyone, especially her. But now, she's here, offering me a lifeline, and it terrifies me how much I want to reach out and hold on. This isn't how it was supposed to go.

I grip the wheel a little tighter, trying to focus on the road. But the thoughts keep circling back. It feels like I'm teetering on the edge of something, like if I let my guard down even a little, I'll fall apart completely. Part of me is grateful I don't have to be alone tonight. I can already feel the weight of the empty apartment waiting for me, the silence pressing in on all sides, reminding me of everything I'm trying to avoid. But with Lea... maybe it won't feel so suffocating.

I take a deep breath as I pull into the parking lot of my apartment building. I sit in the car for a few moments, just letting the silence sink in before I finally cut the engine. Tonight, I'm going to try—try to let myself enjoy whatever it is Lea and I have. Try not to let everything else overshadow it. Just for one night.

I step inside my apartment and close the door, leaning back against it for a moment. The silence here feels heavier than it did in the car, but I don't let it get to me. Not now. Not tonight. I push away the creeping feelings of despair, all the thoughts waiting just beneath the surface. I remind myself that tonight is about Lea, not everything else.