Summer 1899
In the misty morning Gellert can hardly see the silhouette of his beloved. He can't approach him right now, maybe later. His quest is about to begin, and the only thing keeping him in that moldy pub is Albus. Gellert knows what loss of a family member is. Just like Ariana, his own parents were more of a nuisance than somebody to rely on. Gellert will give Albus all the time he needs. That fiery force of a wizard looks so timid right now. He is trapped between a rock and a hard place, having to spend his free time either with Aberforth who hates his guts, or, just like now, with a stone cold tombstone.
Don't worry, dear. Gellert will come to your rescue.
Deep down inside Gellert has already realised his loneliness. On his way to the pub he muses on their relationship: there's a possibility that all that he had was all he was going to get; and now he looses even that with his steps towards the wrong direction. He could've been there for Albus, could've say sorry hundreds of times. It's not like he is too busy with his quest - every point is thoroughly planned and waiting to be fulfilled. Gellert spends his time playing Exploding Snap with the pub's innkeeper and unwillingly ears dropping to the honorary gossips of Godric's Hollow. A Dumbledore was mentioned only once, and it was the wrong Dumbledore.
He knocked his little thing up, huh?! Well, serves her right for being a prick to Albus. It's not enough that the creature is certainly going to be an ugly spawn of nature, his parents are children themselves. That baby is doomed.
Gellert crosses the road and decides not to take a shortcut. He has a lot on his mind and doesn't want to take these thoughts to the dusty and gray room which could incline to musing only someone with no habit of reflection. That shelter for drunks and beggars isn't worthy of his meditations.
His heart hurt another, and they can't begin anything without mending it. Gellert is walking on asking himself to hold on a little longer. Longing from a distance, he keeps his disappointment in Albus as a burning: it's not like they have or, rather, had a family bliss. Albus hated his responsibility for the annoying siblings, his house and, frankly, everyone who prevented him from achieving something more in that dull life of a country dweller. Gellert was very surprised by the intensity of Albus's anger towards his mediocre siblings. That's why he is full of hope: a week or two and maybe he gets over it. Nothing has to step in the way of The Greater Good. But his piercing eyes that day told Gellert everything - that was a point of no return.
Growing weary of the dusty road, Gellert finds shelter under a spreading oak tree. He sits on the ground and orders himself to stop thinking of Albus. He ranted, he pleaded, he begged him not to go, but that little traitor turned his back on their future. For sorrow, the only lover Gellert's ever known brought him so much sadness. Making sure no one's around, he lets his tears go by without a trace of shame. He learnt the hard way the danger of suppressing emotions, so he weeps like a baby, because no relationship can die and not get a proper funeral. The tears sting his eyes, his cheeks are red from the intense rubbing and there's a bitter taste in his throat. Only when he can't cry any longer, he accepts his pain, and sadness becomes a blessing, a pearl and his loyal boyfriend. Sadness won't leave him for anything or anybody. It finds it's home in his heart and from now on will reside there.
Suddenly his self-examination is interrupted by a a group of children. Gellert tries to hide himself in the shadow but soon finds it unnecessary. These little rascals are passing by and their destination is a local fair. Their footsteps are muffled by the long vegitation. Without any remorse for the past, without any precaution for the future Gellert's generation happily walks through the blooming meadow, under which lays an abyss.
Autumn 1899
Godric's Hollow, alive and busy during summers, transforms into a sleeping kingdom as soon as the last leaves fall onto the cold soil. Albus hates autumns for that - his village is already a forgotten piece of an almost deserted land, but autumns deprives it from the rustic beauty of blooming vegetation and the high waters that glint in the summer sun. The nature is being processed through a gray kaleidoscopic lense, and gray is Gellert's colour. He always wore at least one gray item of clothes. He'd be looking much better in a dynamic accent. Pale orange, yellow or gold would go well with his crystal blue eyes.
Two weeks earlier Albus would try to distract himself from such thoughts, that's why his house is gleaming, his books are sorted by the year of publishing and his clothes is tidier than ever. Ariana's dead, and that's a fact. He will always be unconditionally and irrevocably in love with Gellert - that's another fact. Right now he is learning to cope with these conditions. The number one rule in his book of acceptance is to face his desires.
The blue colour of Gellert's eyes is a vain word, a silent cry, a silence. Every morning, when he bends over himself in the mirror, he sees them. And Albus wishes, he could see Gellert's eyes too. To each, death has a gaze. Albus knows, death will come and will bear his eyes.
But it won't be soon. Full of energy, Albus has a life to live. He puts on an overcoat and goes back home. He wishes he could stay at Bathilda's history temple she calls home a bit longer, but the late hours are made for lovers, not for neighbours. Their unlikely friendship blossomed after a certain somone had left without leaving a note. A miserable being must find another miserable being, they say, and two always better than one. One day, he hopes, he quits his vice of looking for the hints of Gellert's presence, in the letters he receives, on the small balcony of Bathilda's house, or in the barn that taught them how to make love.
A week after he left, Albus was tearing up his letters and throwing out his books on the Deathly Hallows. He genuinely felt like he could kill Gellert if they happened to meet again. But slowly, step by step, he is coming to an important realisation: sometimes life is not fair, sometimes love doesn't win or turn a person into something beautiful, sometimes you have to choose loneliness even though you heart aches. His nose still hurts after Aberforth's punch. He is rubbing it taking a thorough look at a trail near his house. Local children can't afford fancy brooms, but the creativity of their loving parents doesn't know boundaries. His dad, for instance, used to enchant his wooden horse, so little Albus could ride on all sorts of trails. A simple magic for teen Albus seemed like a mythological mystery back then. A man without a destination isn't in need of a wooden horse. Tired from a busy day, Albus just wants to get to his room and fall asleep. The lights of the village helps him to see happy trails ahead.
His bed is warm and cozy, but for some reason, sleep is leaving him. Happy trails still shine in his eyes. He cast his gaze to the starry sky. Even though he has no way of knowing that, Albus is sure that Gellert is having a restless night, and right now they're watching the same stars from different beds. But maybe he isn't in bed, but on his way to find that silly wand that will never make him happy.
In that case, Gellert, pull over somewhere nice.
Somewhere quiet. Take it all in, let it linger. Breathe in the night, cause yesterday's gone and today's almost spent. I'll never forget our love, but I'm letting you go.
The freshness of the evening air lulls Albus to sleep.
