Mini stories all in one book

.WLD's (week long dares)

I walked down the dreaded hallway in my clown outfit feeling mortified.
It's not the fact that I was in a clown outfit, no, it's because I am walking down the hallway in a CLOWN OUTFIT, you know the kind with the creepy painted on smile, the big shoes, huge red nose, the works, and nobody is noticing. I mean for this dare to be over I need to turn heads.
You probably have no idea what I'm talking about so lets go back about 2 months? When my friends and I decided to spice up our otherwise boring lives with WLD's (week long dares) (props to my shopping partner Angela for coming up with that brilliantly creative name. I suggested 'sour pineapples' because that way we could talk in code. For example if you hate your dare you can say "my pineapple is so sour" but they all shot me down, but I obviously talk in the code sometimes because it was just too magnificent to let go.)

Anywho, unless you're extremely daft, the name says it all. In our group of 6 friends we pull names out of a hat and you give a dare to whoever you get, it can be anything, but it has to last a week and not have any possibility of the victim...umm....the person doing the dare being sent to jail. Oh and you can't tell anyone. No chicken outs either.

Flashback...2 months ago
"I'm so boorreedd lets spice up our lives with week long dares"
Choruses of agreement go around the room
End of flashback

Ok so that's obviously not how it happened, but if I actually gave a detailed explanation of what went down, I would die from the overworking of my very delicate brain. But I will give a flashback to sunday (when I signed the death wish of my social life. HAHAHA!! I said that like I ever had one 😂😂).

Flashback
"Can we pick the names already? I'm basically dying from the suspense!" I shriek.
"Fine, fine. Impatient much?" Addy mutters as she dumps the papers in the sacred hat. We then proceeded to sit in the sacred circle while eating sacred chips. (Everything is sacred in this flashback because putting the word sacred in front of everything just makes it more sacred). John dips his hand into the sacred hat and pulls out the sacred paper, followed by Angela, Luke, Addy, me, and finally the last person of the group. Ben.
Then, everything seemed to slow down as he reached for the hat and began the sacred motion of the picking of the sacred paper.
It was as if time wanted us to feel the excruciatingly insufferable suspense in awaiting the result, seeing as we couldn't look at our sacred papers until everyone has one. At least that's what I thought until I realized that Ben was, in fact, going slow mo. So you could understand me when I smacked him upside the head and said,
" hurry up and pick the sacred paper already." (Because everything in this flashback is still sacred when I'm angry) "why on earth are you going slow mo?"
Then he yelps (yes he legit yelps), screams child abuse, then says,
"Well I wanted it to be like the movies you know like wh-" I smack him harder this time.
"Just do it" I snap getting frustrated
Then he picks the glorious sacred paper, and everyone opens theirs in order of when we got to Addy's house saying who they picked as we go along. Which would mean Addy, me, Ben, Luke, Angela, then finally John.
"Johny capoholy"
"Angy the fish"
"Josy and the pussycats"
"Addition"
"Ben ten"
"Lukesicle"
I love the nicknames I come up with, they're so good. Almost as good as my jokes. Which reminds me
"Sacred joke time!! Are you ready for this?" I give a laugh "what do jeeps say when they're scared?"

"Jeeps can't get scared, they're non-living things. Get your facts right"

"HA! tell that to the cars movie where ALL cars talk, hehe you're not the only smart one here " I say to addition "anyway back to my joke, What do jeeps say when they're scared?. JEEP-ers" and I just about die of laughter, it's so funny. I look up to see that my friends are all giving me identical flat looks. Trust me to pick the ones with no sense of humour.
"Don't even" Angy the fish says.
"Ugh whatever hurry up and chop the pineapples (give out the dares)"
This is how the sacred chopping of the pineapples takes place, you start off with the persons name, then you say ' I WLD dare you to', you state you dare, then you say 'over the following week'. Then you add any additional info. You have to say all of that even if it doesn't go with your sentence because, just like every thing in this flashback, it's sacred.
"Johny capoholy" Addition says with an evil grin " I WLD dare you to, confess your love to every single female you make eye contact with over the following week. You only confess your love to each one once, so for example, if you see your mom today, you confess your undying love for her, then when you see her again the next day you can't do it anymore" that's actually not that bad, I've done worse.

"Angy the fish" I speak up "I WLD dare you to, yell 'Gregory ate the bananas not Tarzan' every single time someone says your name over the following week. Including teachers." Hehe, I'm so mean.

"Josy and the pussycats, I dare you to wear a costume of my choice every single day of the week over the following week. You can't change out of the costumes, until at least 30 people have asked why you are wearing the costume, and if someone asks why you're wearing it, say they should go on a return flight to Pluto and they still wouldn't get to know. Oh and the 30 people thing is each day, AND each of the 30 people has to sign a paper showing that they asked and you replied, so sucks to be you" just my luck, but I couldn't protest until all the dares are given. I can't twist Ben's words later either because, I came up with this stupidly smart idea of recording all the dares on a sacred voice recorder thing. *sigh* why do I have to be so smart?

"Addition, I WLD dare you to pretend you-"

(WOAH! Okay hold it right there, why on earth am I telling you guys all the dares when only mine is important? *scoff* this flashback is SO over).
Flashback over

Well, it's pretty obvious that my protest was unsuccessful because here I am. Yay!
And to add to that, only one person. ONE measly person was rude enough to as-
"Why are you wearing that hideous clown outfit? You look like something out of a circus show." Says a guy wearing a plain, really dark blue shirt with a leather jacket over it. You would think he has this bad boy look going on for him until you see the happy face socks he has on, hidden by his pants and light up shoes but obviously I noticed and felt obliged to comment on it, so I reply with...
"Well your shoes look like something out of a child's movie, or is that your socks talking? Do you need some water? I think you need some water. You look a little , okay by a little I mean a lot, red. Or maybe that's just some of the Flames left from when your ego got burned leaving you with only the little bit that's being burned right now, or is that just your life?"

He goes dead silent

"I thought as much, anyway go on a return flight to Pluto and you still wouldn't get to know"
"What?"
"Just sign this paper"
"Why?"
I give a glare. Today is not the day for someone to be testing me right now, and it's not just because I had a pop quiz.

"Just. Sign. The Paper"

He signs the paper and I get on with my life. Last period here I come.

****

I never did get 30 people to ask me. Even when I went around begging everyone in the class to ask, no one did. I guess they liked seeing me suffer, but that wouldn't make any sense since none of them knew the real reason. You know what? Lets just skip that part and go right ahead to the ending. At least tomorrow's outfit is better. I'm going to be dressed as a mime.
Oh who am I kidding?
It's still bad.
I guess that's just what happens when you spice up your lives with WLD's.
THE END