Mini stories all in one book

The audition

"One thing ik is that ur purchasing me a new book."

"Phew! Good thing I don't have to buy her a new one."

Facepalm...

Hello I'm blah and I lived in Africa for many years.

Africa's a continent, not a country, where in Africa did u live?!

In Nigeria. My experience in Africa-

She just doesn't listen...

Was very great, interacting with the animals and roughing it in the wild, all those hippos and lions and tigers, My home was very humble well it had to be considering I lived in trees and only knew about modern civilization when I came here because that's how everyone lives back there.

Get out

But wait!!

OUT!

just let her continue

I also speak Nigerian

Shut up, out of my site rn what kind of abomination is this?!?

Pardon me? I sorry English my not good.

NEXT!

Hello my name is blah and I'm from Ireland, the land of the leprechaun.

Get out.

In Ireland, I woke up everyday and washed my teeth with beer, then I went to have my breakfast which was always lucky charms, then I dressed up in my green attire and walked out spreading my magically delicious pot of gold, while tossing four leaf clovers everywhere spreading my luck of the Irish-

SECURITY!!

NEXT

Hello eh? my name is blah and I'm from Canada.. eh?

What is this?!?

I wake up in my igloo eh?, where I live, then I go to Tim Horton's eh? for breakfast, before I put on my plaid eh? and go to my daily job as being a lumberjack. Eh? There's just something aboot being a lumberjack eh?

Out...

Sorry.... eh?

GET OUT.

MAPLE SYRUP!!

NEXT

Hello my name is blah and I'm a stupid blonde cheerleader therefore you should all be afraid of me because I'm queen bee. I'm also dating the schools quaterback who is the most popular guy in school.  In my free time I enjoy not eating anything because carbs amirite? And I more often than not go shopping with my besties because I'm rich, while talking about Justin Bieber and parties. And I'm a bee. My hobbies r not eating, not pooing, and saying like like all the time. I also enjoy bothering ppl that I deem losers but still go out of my way to spite them.

Go away

NEXT

Hello my name is blah and I'm a tree hugger. In my free time I like hugging trees and not wearing shoes, I like walking around barefoot and only wearing tie dye and bandanas. I tell ppl to save the planet and occasionally hug-

NO

NEXT

Hello my name is blah and as u can tell from my braces and glasses I'm a nerd, because everyone who wears both braces and glasses is a nerd. In my free time I like playing the cello, studying, complaining about my social life, loving the most popular guy in school, and hating ppl I don't even know, I also enjoy bad mouthing them, behind their backs of course because as you can tell I'm very introverted, and I'm the teachers pet. I'm also bad at physical education because I'm a nerd. I also hope to have to tutor the quaterback someday. U know, cuz he's stupid.

Ugh what is this?

NEXT

Y were all these ppl so bad, like what was that?!?! I spread my magically delicious blah blah

Umm.. with all due respect miss, u wrote the sript