Neglect

Chapter 12

Maeve

I sniffled quietly as my hands shook and my ears rang. I could hear everyone talking around me, but none of it made sense. I could only focus on the boy with his big, warm hand in mine.

I could hear my parents arguing in the kitchen and Johnny yelling at someone through his phone. Although I knew everything that happened to me wasn't supposed to, I couldn't help but feel guilt creeping into my conscience.

I was shivering, but a heavy duvet was thrown on me, and the blazing fire was making my face burn. So why was I shivering?

"Maeve? My Mam said I've to be home by 5.30. It's five now, so I'll leave in the next 15 minutes. Is that okay?" Pa asked gently. I silently nodded, but my heart was screaming out for him to stay

"Maeve? I need you to talk to me." Patrick turned my head towards him and looked into my eyes, trying to read them.

"I'll be okay," I let out a watery smile before looking at my hands. It was at that moment Johnny came back into the sitting room. He paused and looked at Patrick and me sitting on the couch next to each other, staring straight ahead to the fire before he sat down on the other couch.

"Maeve?" I didn't look toward Johnny until he lightly touched my hand. I yanked my hand back as if I'd been scorched. "I was just on the phone with Gibsie. He, uh, he says he wants a word with you and is on his way over." Johnny looked as puzzled as I was. I glanced at Pa, who only shrugged his shoulders—just as clueless as I was.

I turned and looked at the fire again, watching the flames flourish and then quickly fade away into nothing. I was entranced, but I couldn't explain why.

I suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder, flinched, and pushed away from the person, my eyes watering. I turned around to see Gibsie and quickly settled down, but my face was still white as a sheet.

Gibsie looked at me solemnly and with something that looked like understanding. How could Gibsie possibly understand what I'm feeling right now?

"I'll leave you to it," Johnny said, walking out of the room and heading for the kitchen. I awkwardly fiddled with my fingers. I used to be pretty friendly with Johnny's friends, but ever since the incident, my outlook on the boys on the rugby team had changed.

"Gibsie will keep you in good hands, won't ya?" Gibsie nodded towards Patrick. "All right then, I'm going to head out. I'll swing by tomorrow, Maeve, okay?" I nodded, and Patrick sighed before turning around and walking out. Gibaie only spoke when the front door closing echoed throughout the house.

"When did it first happen?" Gibsie questioned. My heart sank. This was the question I never wanted Johnny to find out the answer to.

"He, um, gave me a spin home from school one day 'cause Johnny couldn't. He acted like he took a wrong turn cause it was late and stuff. And then he yknow" I looked down ashamed. I never wanted to tell my brother's best friend the story of someone raping me.

"What happened after?" I took in a shaky breath. Even though his voice was soothing, I still felt targeted and uncomfortable. "Take your time."

I nodded in thanks before speaking. "He took me to a liquor store and bought a bunch of whiskey and rum. He told me to drink it and said he'd do what he did again if I didn't. I forced it down my throat. It tasted so bad." A sob tore out of my throat, and I wiped my nose before speaking again.

"I told him I wanted to go home, but he said he couldn't drive in his condition. We then drove to a nearby park, and he parked again. He, um, he then took me to the backseat again. The first time, I was so shocked I could barely process anything that was going on around me, but the second time, I wanted to fight back. But I couldn't. My body was weary, and my mind felt all hazy.

He had planned the whole thing beforehand. He made sure to pick up some alcohol so I wouldn't be able to fight him back."

I closed my eyes. I couldn't face the look Gibsie was giving me. Foolish, foolish girl, he probably thought. In all seriousness, what was I thinking? Getting into some guy's car? I promised myself I'd never make that mistake again.

Until Patrick.

"Thank you for telling me, but I don't think I should be the only one to hear your story. I was talking to your mam and she agreed that you should see someone. Maybe even transfer to somewhere else?" I immediately recoiled.

"No, Gerard, you don't understand. No one else can know, okay? I won't tell anyone, and I won't let the rumors lead to something more. I will fall as the poor, innocent girl who thinks the big rugby player has feelings for me. I will do whatever it takes to keep this from getting out." I panicked, not wanting everyone to know what had happened to me.

"Look, I know you think that's the right thing to do right now, but it's not okay. Trust me, it's not. In 5 years, you will regret not telling anyone sooner because now you've no choice but to keep that secret. This secret will drown you for the rest of your life, and I can't let that happen to you, Maeve." He rambled, and his eyes filled with tears. I couldn't help but cry with him. Not knowing what to do next.

"If you choose to tell everyone, I promise I will stand by your side and help you get through it." Gibsie kissed my forehead in a sibling manner, and I felt the weight of the world being lifted off my shoulders.

"Okay," I said before resuming whatever had been playing beforehand. Even though my family and half my brother's friends knew something about me, I hoped they'd never find out; I felt okay knowing I had people around me who would support me no matter what.

That thought led me down through a whirlwind of overthinking as I thought about Patrick. He doesn't think I'm disgusting because of this whole thing, right? Right? I grew worried and almost felt sick thinking about what he must think of me now.

He thinks you're disgusting and will never think of you more than in the friendship sense.