Unfinished Hearts

Chapter 4 - The Struggle Within

Lumipas ang ilang linggo, and the silence between me and Anna became louder than any conversation we had shared. Nag try akong mag move on, focusing on my studies and o kaya naman nilalaan ko yung time ko to my friends, pero hindi yon ganon kadali. Every time I saw Anna walking down the hall or caught a glimpse of her on social media, yung feelings ko para sa kanya hindi padin nawawala.

Anna, on the other hand, felt like she was drowning in confusion. She still missed me, pero at the same time, hindi nya magawang lumapit. She wasn’t ready to admit the truth about her feelings, and the more time passed, the harder it became to face the reality of what she was running from.

One day, after school, I found myself at the park, sitting on a bench, staring at the empty swings. The sun was setting, casting an orange glow over everything. The cool breeze made me think of the times me and Anna had spent together, tawanan and usapan about sa mga panagarap namen. But now, those memories felt distant, like they belonged to someone else.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn’t notice someone sitting down beside me until they spoke.

“Mind if I sit here? Kung pwede lang naman”

I turned to find Ray, my current boyfriend. We had been together for a while now, pero kahit perfect na si Ray the way he's kind and caring, I didn’t feel the same spark I once did. Gusto ko sya, but it wasn’t the same as what I had felt for Anna.

“Sure,” I said, forcing a smile.

Ray looked at me with concern. “ang tahimik mo lately. Everything okay?”

I nodded, though I wasn’t sure if I was lying to him or myself. “Yeah, ok lang ako. Just... thinking.”

Ray raised an eyebrow. “About—Anna?”

The name hit me like a punch to the gut. Hindi ko expected na Ray to bring her up, but I didn’t know how to respond. “I—yeah. I’ve been thinking about everything.”

Ray sighed, clearly understanding more than I wanted him to. “Look, I know na things aren't easy rn. I can see it. You’ve been distant. And hindi ako bulag. Masasabi ko na your heart is somewhere else.”

My throat tightened. “Ray, hindi kita gustong saktan. You’re a great person, and I care about you. But–”

“But you don’t love me the way you love her,” Ray finished for me, his voice quiet but firm.

I was silent for a moment, the weight of his words sinking in. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want things to be like this.”

Ray nodded, his expression softening. “It’s okay. I can’t make you love me. Pero gusto kong maging honest ka sa sarili mo, Thea. You deserve to be happy. If you’re still thinking about Anna, then maybe you need to figure that out first.”

I looked down at her hands, the truth of Ray’s words sinking in deeper than I expected. I wasn’t happy. Not really. I had been trying to convince myself na kaya kong mag move on, that my feelings for Anna would fade, pero hindi. They had only grown stronger.

“I... I need time,” I whispered, more to myself than to Ray.

“naiintindihan ko,” Ray said gently. “Take all the time you need. Gusto ko lang na maging honest ka sakin and with yourself.”

As Ray stood up and walked away, I remained sitting on the bench, my heart torn between the past and the present. Hindi ko pa kayang i let go si Anna, but she I don't want to hurt Ray any more than I already had. The struggle within me was growing, and I had no idea how to fix things.

Meanwhile, Anna was struggling with her own emotions. She had been seeing Mark, and while they seemed happy at first, pero hindi din nag tagal. Mark wasn’t the same person Anna had thought he was. He was distant, often canceling plans or making excuses. But Anna couldn’t let go. She still held on to the hope that things would go back to the way they were.

One afternoon, after another argument with Mark, Anna found herself wandering around the city, unsure of where to go or what to do. Her thoughts kept drifting back to me. The things I had said to her, the way I made Anna feel understood, were things she hadn’t felt in a long time with Mark.

She pulled out her phone and stared at my contact name. Gusto nyakong kausapin, to reach out, pero may part sa kanya na nangangamba. Afraid of opening old wounds. Afraid of what it might mean if she confessed how much she still cared for me. Pero deep down, alam nya na it wasn’t just the past that haunted her it was the present, the feeling that she had let something beautiful slip away.

As she stood at the edge of a bridge, staring at the water below, Anna made a decision. She couldn’t keep running away from her feelings. She needed to talk to me. But what would she say? Could she fix the mess she had made?

The next day, I received a message from Anna. My heart skipped a beat nung nakita ko kung kanino galing.

Can we talk?

Simpleng salita na napaka tagal ko ng iniintay an I couldn’t ignore. I quickly typed a reply.

Yes. Ofc saan, kelan?

Anna’s response was almost immediate.

The park. 3 PM.

My nerves were on edge as the time drew nearer. Wala akong idea kung anong gustong pag usapan ni Anna , but I couldn’t shake the feeling that this was going to change everything.