Rolando Backstory

The End From I.M.P.

The double doors opened and Blitzo posed in his Bethany Ghostfucker costume and blond wig. Millie rolled her eyes as she followed him with a black staff shirt on, long pants and a black movie camera.

Blitzo aimed his lavender dildo-shaped device at Rolando, who lowered it with his fingers. Rolando sat at his desk in his human disguise.

"Welcome to the One Star Wonder where it's a wonder we still have that star." He cracked his head to the side. "How may I help you today?"

Blitzo spoke in a valley girl accent. "We're filming a very special episode of my hit show and we're gonna need access to every room in this dump."

He held out a card to Rolando.

"Christ, you Hollywood assholes are pushy little pricks," he seethed, taking the card. "I can't just give you the keys to every ba..."

He read the card: "BATHINEE GOZTFUKR, I'M FAMOS, (this is a real I.D.)." There was a dick drawing on it and a crude drawing of the actress.

He held up the card and glanced at Blitzo, sweat beading down his face.

He grinned and snapped. "Well snap me in half! You're Bethany Ghostfucker from that one show..." He put his finger to his chin.

"It's called Ghostfuckers, idiot," Blitzo remarked.

"No, but you're getting close. Anyway, I am glad to see you folks. He pulled open a drawer. "We've been having more..."

An evil glint appeared in his eyes and his smile stretched. "...disturbances than usual lately."

Blitzo made a show of grabbing onto his imaginary breasts. "What kind? Se-sexy disturbances?"

Rolando placed down three crime scene photos onto the desk. "The kind that are killing my guests!"

The first photo showed a shadow of a woman being tossed into the air. The second showed the corpse of a screaming old man, the floor littered with his organs and his blood splattered against the wall. The third picture showed the decapitated head of Rita the psychic lady. She used to have brown curly hair, glasses, and purple earrings, the eyes gaping black sockets.

"Well, there definitely ain't no such thing as ghosts," said Millie.

"You sure about that?" Rolando asked, head cocked. The lights briefly flickered overhead.

Millie shrugged it off and pushed back the gruesome photos. "We'll get to the bottom of what's killing your guests."

"Uh, yeah, except ghosts are real, camera man," Blitzo mentioned to Millie.

"They're a conspiracy, Bethany," she replied.

"Uh, then what do I plan on fucking tonight?"

Rolando growled. "Real or not, this needs to stop."

"Uh, we'll need those keys then," Blitzo said, holding out his hand.

Rolando gave them to him. "They killed my last cleaning lady and now I'm stuck with this."

Rolando mentioned to a squat bell hopper dressed in a red uniform. He slobbered and babbled in an accent sounding like the alien Stitch. Millie and Blitzo flinched back in disgust. "Eugh."

"Poor thing can't even blink."

Blitzo twirled the keys. "No promises. Come along Mil...I mean, camera man." Millie huffed as she followed him.

An old torn portrait of Rolando holding a red rose was hung in the hall. His eyes appeared to follow the imps as they made their way down the halls.

Rolando could sense right off the bat that those two were no ordinary humans. They didn't smell like humans...he knew they were hellborn imps.