"I'm nothing."
Your own voice sounded unfamiliar - a strange, pathetic whisper wherein you admitted just how unworthy you were of the woman who loomed above you.
You disgusted yourself. You probably disgusted her, too, but looking up from your place kneeling at Rhea's feet would mean seeing the disappointment in her eyes. Even the most painful implements she had struck you with didn't hurt as much as the obvious regret she felt when she looked at you.
"Is that all you have to say for yourself?" Rhea's cold tone was demanding.
Words could never redeem you, but you would gladly show her the depths of your remorse and self-loathing if she wished it.
"Without you, I'm less than nothing," you continued, bowing your head, "I don't deserve your affection, or even your attention; I only deserve to suffer."
Rhea exhaled sharply, but said nothing.
"I don't even know why you asked me to come over," you admitted, half-numb, eyes out of focus.
"You said it yourself: the only thing you deserve is pain," the sadism in her voice may as well have been a caress with how it soothed you, confirming that you were still of use to her in some way - or that you could at least pretend you were. "You're here so I can give you exactly that. You're going to ask for it. Then, you're going to thank me."
You nodded. In this moment, nothing felt more fitting than letting her decide your fate.
"Yes, Mistress," you said aloud, "Please hurt me however you see fit. I'm yours to torment."
"Damn right you are, bitch," Rhea hissed, making you jump at the sound of the riding crop slapping against her palm, "But you can do better than that. Now grovel."
"Please," you begged again, letting the dam that held back your emotions give way slightly to put urgency into your words, "Please, Mistress, I need to be punished by your hand. I need to be hurt."
She gave you a slap to your cheek with the riding crop before responding.
"And do you know why?"
"Because I f-failed you," it was then that the dam broke and you began to sob, tears rolling down your face, "You t-trusted me and I ruin- I ruined everything."
"Sounds about right," Rhea said before bending over and roughly grabbing your chin, nails digging into your skin as she tilted your face upward. She wore a mask of fury, but there was no denying the look in her eyes - you'd hurt her. Badly.
As much as it felt like it, the guilt wasn't going to eat a hole through your chest; you'd have to leave that to her, you thought, looking away instinctively.
The riding crop clattered to the ground a split-second before Rhea's open hand struck you across the face.
"Fucking look at me while you beg for it," she ordered, blurry through your tears.
"P-please," you blubbered, blinking until you could focus on her face again, "M-mistress, please hurt me, please punish me, please-"
Another hard slap to your cheek silenced your pleas before Rhea let go of you with a shove.
"Pathetic," she laughed at the sight of you on your hands and knees, picking up the black leather whip that had been resting on the table beside her.
With one sharp snap, the whip hit your arm with a scorching blow that made you cry out.
"Harder, please, Mistress," you begged, fighting the urge to cover the stinging mark with your hand. This wasn't going to wash away your mistakes, but it was the only thing that had felt right since you'd disappointed her.
Another two loud cracks accompanied two sharp, burning hits to your back. Your own shouts rang out as the pain began taking over all of your other senses.
"Harder!" you cried out desperately, "Please, make me bleed-"
A swift boot to your stomach cut you off, making you cough violently while you collapsed to the floor, curling up as you laid on your side.
"Shut the fuck up," she spat, "I get to decide how to beat you, whore."
Another snap of her whip hit your hands, making you whimper as you kept coughing.
"You think this hurts?" she growled, "What I'm doing to you right now is nothing" - she leaned in closer before raising her voice to a shout - "NOTHING compared to what you put me through. And you aren't leaving until I've been repaid. With interest."
