First time ko lang pong magsusulat ngayon. :) And I'm hoping makagawa ng isang story na magugustuhan niyo. Salamat po :)
EPILOGUE:
“Dej! Mmy! (Shortcut for Mommy), hurry up! It’s already 8 A.M. and we’ve got to arrive for Dej’s enrollment at exactly 8:30! “ sigaw ng Papa ko. It’s April 11, 2011 and enrollment ko kasi nagyon. And medyo na-excite naman daw ata sila ni Mama. They’ve decided na samahan ako and Papa drove us three to my new school.
I'm like the other girls in school.
But quite different as many guys say that I am.
A control freak as they might describe, but the adjective is not being used like that way. Sinasabi nila, iba raw ako. Iba sa paraang nakaka-intimidate raw, lalo na ang itsura ko.
Hindi man nila sabihin ‘yon ng harap – harapan, BUT, I know that's what they were always thinking about me. And some of my guy friends, inaamin nila sa’kin ‘yon after, sa mga times na kung kailan medyo or talagang close na kami. Inaamin nila na ganoon ang tingin nila sa’kin. And I remember one guy, and as of now he’s one of my friends in college, ni-lilink nila kami sa isa’t isa noong una. Pero wala rin naming kinatunguhan ‘yon dahil friends lang talaga siguro ang turingan namin. And then, one day, out of no where, nagkwekwentuhan kami non eh, kami – kami ng mga barkada ko and he’s one of them, they asked him frankly, “Ikaw John? Umamin ka nga! Naging crush mo ba si Dej? (That’s how they call me)”. Tapos siyempre medyo nahihiya hiya pa noon si John, siyempre, ikaw ba naman ang tanungin ng ganoon na nandoon pa ako?! And then he abruptly answered them, “Hmmm. Friends lang talaga.” “Eh bakit naman? Ayaw mo ba sa kanya” sabi na naman ni Phem (my gay friend). “Hindi naman sa ayaw, pero kasi ‘hindi ko siya maabot’. Heto siya oh (sabay kumpas sa kamay na nakataas) at heto naman ako (sabay kumpas pababa)”. Nabigla ako sa sagot niya. I don’t know what to feel that moment. ‘Yong pakiramdam na nagiti ako, ‘yon nga lang ngiting aso.
“What do you mean? I’m sure hindi naman ‘yon about sa life status niyo dahil same naman kayong may class diba?” Phem asked again. And out of no where, I found myself so eager to hear what John would answer about it. Then he answered, “No! It’s not that. It’s just that, kung titingnan mo kasi si Dej, ‘yon bang ang taas taas niya kasi, matalino, active, palaban, …” “And maganda naman siya diba?” singit ni Phem. “Yeah!” sagot naman ni John.
I don’t know but at that very moment gusto ko ng magpalamon sa lupa. ‘Yon bang parang mga nasa movies na pwedeng mawala bigla sa kinatatayuan niya. Siguro kasi I took it as a criticism.
But honestly, hindi naman ganoon ang tingin ko sa sarili ko. Siguro nga, nasa akin lahat ng katangiang sinabi niya pero hindi ko maintindihan kung ano ang kinalaman non sa par aka katakutan at di maging object for LOVE! Hayy… And that moment, I’ve realized that John is not the one. As in he should NEVER be the one ‘cause he’s not brave enough to treat me like other girls or shall I say to treat me as how a girl must be treated. To love me as I am, no fear of how others will say once we’re together. One who’s not a coward to admit to himself that even though he’s kind of being intimidated, he’s no fear to love.
Yeah!! CONTROL FREAK WOMAN!
And, yeah! Who would love a girl LIKE me.?
A girl who always wants all things to be at its most perfect state?!
A girl who has the "I-am-not-talking-to-you" look every time she looks at other people whom she doesn't know well...
And YEAH! That is ABSOLUTELY ME!!! But, here's the thing, does anyone know someone who have not met someone like me, who has the intimidating looks but deep inside, soft as a pillow, and as absorbent as a sponge when it comes to LOVE.?
Well, I guess not. 'Cause if you/they do, then they'll probably understand the real me and would love me too.
Well, my full name is Dejah Thris (Pronounced as ‘day-dya-tris’). My mom always say to me when I was young that whenever someone asks me why is that my name, I shall tell them the story of it BUT for me, It’s quite nonsense telling others the HISTORY of your name. Ugh. But, I’m gonna tell you any way…
