Drive

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by Ishouldbebetterbynow

by Ishouldbebetterbynow

I recently read the books drive and reverse and they affected me more than I expected. The song drive make me bawl like a fucking baby and makes me ache so deeply in my chest. Why does Nate Butler make me unable to hate him? Stella got her happily ever after, her and Reid were endgame, but the thought of Nate was so painful for her it sent her into an episode. God I fucking understand her more than any other FMC Ive ever experienced. She had two epic loves of her life, but Nate wasn't it for her, not after everything that happened.

Music has always been an outlet for emotion for me and it's so hard sometimes when it makes me feel things I don't want to feel. These meds are making me emotional as fuck and one minute I want to scream and break things and in the next I want to cry and be told everything is okay and it wasn't my fault. I just wish I could stop feeling this. It would be easier when I stop trying to forgive, but If I let go of the anger, all I have left is pain...

When does it start to get better? I should have been better by now.