My brother and the Jock

1

August 24, 1970

It wasn't always like this. There was a time when Ben and I could talk about anything, and share every secret. But now, every conversation feels forced, awkward; like we're strangers in our own home. I glance across the cafeteria. Ben is at his usual spot in the corner sitting lonely, hunched over a book like it's a shield, its blue colour projecting towards the cafeteria. He looks up briefly, and for a split second, our eyes meet. I try to give him a small smile, but he looks away, his face unreadable. I start to worry about Ben, my Thoughts circling, Did he take his pills today, is he being bullied again?

"Earth to Rose," my friend Emily says, snapping her fingers in front of my face to take me out of my worrying. "You're zoning out again. Daydreaming about Ethan?"

I roll my eyes, but my cheeks flush a pinky colour. "Maybe" I lie.

Emily leans closer, her voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. "Well, you better make a move soon. Everyone knows Jenny's got her sights set on him too." Jenny. Of course. The queen of passive-aggressive side-eyes and backhanded compliments. Just the thought of her sinking her claws into Ethan makes my stomach twist.

"Don't worry," I say, forcing a laugh. "Jenny doesn't stand a chance." But as I glance back at Ben, I can't help but wonder what if he feels the same way? What if Ethan is the one thing that could bring us closer, or drive us even further apart?

Later that day, I wander into the library a place I rarely go unless forced. The hushed atmosphere feels foreign, almost suffocating, but I push through. It doesn't take long to spot Ben. He's tucked away at a table in the far corner, headphones on, his shoulders hunched like he's trying to make himself invisible. I hesitate for a moment, unsure if this is a good idea. But then I remind myself why I came and take a deep breath. "Hey," I say, sliding into the chair across from him.

Ben looks up, startled, his hand instinctively reaching to pause whatever he's listening to. For a second, he just stares at me, his expression a mix of confusion and mild annoyance, like he can't quite believe I'm here. "What are you doing?" he asks, finally pulling off his headphones and letting them hang around his neck.

"Just..." I fidget with the edge of my sleeve, searching for the right words. "Wanted to check in on you. You've been, uh, pretty quiet lately."

He raises an eyebrow, his scowl deepening. "I'm always quiet," he says flatly. "What's your point?"

I try not to flinch at his tone. "I mean, quieter than usual," I clarify, though the words sound lame even to me. "I just thought... I don't know. Maybe you could use some company?"

Ben leans back in his chair, crossing his arms as he studies me. "Company? From you?" He lets out a dry laugh, shaking his head. "That's new."

His words sting more than I care to admit, but I force myself to hold his gaze. "I'm serious, Ben. I know things have been... hard lately."

His expression hardens, the mention of "lately" clearly hitting a nerve. "What do you want, Rose?" he asks, his voice quieter but sharper now. "Why are you here?"

"I'm trying to help," I say, though it comes out more defensive than I intended.

"Well, don't," he snaps, leaning forward now. "I don't need your pity or whatever guilt trip brought you here. Just... go back to your perfect little life, okay?"

The words cut deep, and for a moment, I'm tempted to fire back. But instead, I stay silent, swallowing the lump rising in my throat. He doesn't mean it—at least, I don't think he does.

"Fine," I say softly, standing up and stepping away from the table. "But I'm not giving up on you, Ben. Not this time."

I walk away, the quiet of the library swallowing me whole, but I can still feel the weight of his stare on my back. His eyes narrow. "I've always been quiet. You just never noticed."

Ouch. I fight the urge to snap back, reminding myself why I'm here. "Look, I know we haven't been... close, but I miss you, Ben. And I know you're still hurting about Carter."

At the mention of Carter, his expression hardens. "Don't," he says sharply. "Don't pretend you care now."

The words sting, but I don't back down. "I do care. I just—" I stop, struggling to find the right words. "I just don't know how to help you."

Ben lets out a bitter laugh. "You can't help me, Rose. No one can. Carter's gone, and nothing you say or do will change that."

I feel tears pricking my eyes but blink them away. "Maybe I can't change what happened, but I can be here for you. If you'd just let me—"

"Why?" he cuts me off, his voice rising. "Because you feel guilty? Because it's easier to play the concerned sister now that your perfect little world is intact?"

The words hit like a slap, but before I can respond, he grabs his stuff and walks away, leaving me sitting, speechless and hollow. I watch him disappear out the library doors, the weight of everything I should've said crushing me. Maybe we're too far gone. I've lost him for good. 

But deep down, I know I can't give up on him. Not yet.

A/N: Hi this is My brother and the Jock, I hope you enjoy the rest.

- Notmentalhelp

(Word Count: 917)