Have you ever?
Have you ever found yourself in the dark, comforting yourself at night alone, asking the same questions over and over: "What's wrong with me?" "Why am I like this?" "Why do I have a life like this?", Yet, still, no answers come. The truth is, deep down, we already know the real answers to all these questions, but we're in denial, too afraid to admit it because it hurts too much.
We carry the weight of our own pain, pretending we're okay, masking our true feelings with forced smiles and empty distractions. Admitting the truth would mean facing our fears, acknowledging our vulnerabilities, and coming to terms with the parts of ourselves we wish we could change. But that kind of honesty comes with consequences; a confrontation with the reality we've tried so hard to escape.
So instead, we keep asking the same questions, hoping for a different answer, when in reality, it's our acceptance that will set us free. It's not about finding the perfect answer but about learning to live with the discomfort and heal from it. Only then can we start to change the story we tell ourselves and find peace in the truths we've been avoiding.
But the longer we avoid those truths, the deeper the pain digs into us. We start losing pieces of ourselves, becoming numb to the world around us. It feels safer in that numbness, doesn't it? Safer than feeling everything all at once—than letting the flood of emotions crash through the walls we've built.
Yet, no matter how high those walls are, cracks will always appear. It's in those quiet moments, when the distractions fade and the silence grows louder, that the truth seeps back in. We're reminded of everything we've tried to forget, and the cycle of self-doubt starts all over again.
But here's the thing: denial only delays the inevitable. The more we push away the truth, the harder it comes back to confront us. We think by ignoring it, the pain will lessen, but in reality, it grows heavier with each day we carry it. Eventually, we realize that confronting our pain, admitting to our truths, is the only way to stop it from consuming us entirely.
Healing doesn't come from running; it comes from standing still, facing what's been haunting us and allowing ourselves to feel the things we've buried. It's terrifying, yes. But it's also the first step toward freedom. Freedom from the constant questioning, from the shame, from the feeling of being lost in our own lives.
Then sometimes, despite our best efforts to confront our truths, the sadness feels insurmountable. The questions echo in the silence, and we find ourselves trapped in a cycle of despair that seems never-ending. We watch as others move through life with ease, while we remain stuck in our own minds, burdened by a weight that feels far too heavy to carry. It's in those dark moments that we often feel the most alone, even when surrounded by people. The fear of vulnerability keeps us from reaching out, convincing us that no one could possibly understand the depth of our pain. So, we wear our masks, smiling on the outside while feeling like a storm rage inside, leaving us feeling even more isolated.
