Hermit two-nine-four: Ground control. Ground control. This is Hermit two-nine-four. Do you copy?
Ground control: Ground control here. What is your status? Over.
Hermit two-nine-four: We're flying at a steady three-four-thousand but I'm detecting a few large formations ahead. Can you confirm? Over.
Ground control: Hermit two-nine-four, it looks like you're definitely heading into a doozy. You've got a few Christmas parties coming in from the north, a couple of volunteer events heading in from the east, and it looks like that weird work thing your boss wants you to go is closing in from the west. And your niece's performance, it's closing in fast from...wait a minute...Jesus...you've got Christmas parties coming in from ALL directions. And...and lunch thing with an old friend forming directly above you. And...a wedding...Oh my god, it's a wedding...it's worse than I thought.... It's the PERFECT STORM. Over.
Hermit two-nine-four: But WHY? Over.
Ground control: What do you mean 'why?' Tis the season to be jolly. That's why. Over.
Hermit two-nine-four: Jolly...I've heard about this 'being jolly.' Is there any way around it? Can you prepare me for emergency landing or something? Over.
Ground control: Hermit two-nine-four, you're surrounded by water. You'd be stranded! Over.
Hermit two-nine-four: Hmm.... That sounds kinda nice. Over.
Ground control: What would I tell ATC? Over.
Hermit two-nine-four: My mom? Tell her that I have Covid. Over.
Ground control: That's a serious offense. Over.
Hermit two-nine-four: Ok how about that I have a cold and every Walgreens in the city is out of Covid tests. Over.
Ground control: ATC won't be too happy about this. If you don't face this storm you'll be in for much worse. Over.
Hermit two-nine-four: Shit. You're right. Over.
Ground control: You can do this, Hermit two-nine-four, just fly right through. Over.
Hermit two-nine-four: Ground control. You're missing one very important part. I'm an introvert. I'm not gonna make it out alive! (radio silence) I'm calling it...
Ground control: Dammit, Hermit two-nine-four, don't pull a Titanic on me!
Hermit two-nine-four: Like I said, I'm an introvert. Pulling Titanics on people is what I do best...Mayday. Mayday. Mayday.
Ground control: (takes headphones off) That's it...we've lost him.
