Beloved sincerity

Parallels never cross each other's: second line

He left me. They always do.

But ironically my first thought was just that I could finally finish what I was writing.

Life is cruel.

It always has been this way. Me being slow to catch things on, and people leaving.
Life is cruel, because god knows I wish it was otherwise.

In my stories, when it happens to my characters I hate it. I always feels the urge to scream that it's not that complicated, they just need to communicate.
And hopefully, they just resolve the problem later on.

But I'm not one of my characters, it's not a story. It's my life and it's cruel.
In my life people don't come back. I can't apologize to be slow to catch things.

In reality I sometimes want to apologize to them for the fact that they love me.

They love me. And I don't notice it for the simple reason that I don't feel lovable. How can you notice something that doesn't exist, that isn't possible ?

So I go back to writing, because there I'm not me anymore, and there, people can love me as much as they want.
In my stories there's no loneliness, no sad ending. It's always a happy ever after.

But where's mine?

If only I had caught you.

You that I love more than anything. You who could've been my everything.

If only I had caught you.

But I didn't.

I didn't say that I love you, in fear that it was not reciprocated, too focus on the love of people that doesn't exist. Too stupid to see what was in front of my very own eyes.

If only I had caught you, you wouldn't have left me. All alone in this unfair life.

I guess we were just meant to be two parallels that would never cross.