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the music vibrated through every cell of my body as i slid through the multitude. the flashing lights momentarily blinded me, but the euphoria and adrenaline kept me moving. this was my life, that of nessa, the "it girl" everyone wanted to be. cameras flashed around me, and laughter echoed like a distant sound, lost in the sea of people filling the club.
i held my glass tightly, the golden liquid dancing in the crystal as i made my way to a less crowded corner. my head spun slightly, a combination of the alcohol and the small pill i had slipped under my tongue a few minutes ago. it wasn't unusual for me; parties and drugs were a way to ignore the pain, to keep nessa alive and vibrant for all my followers.
but today, something was different. there was one day left. i felt a deep emptiness, a sadness that neither the music nor the drugs could drown.
my eyes roamed the room, searching for something, anything that could fill it. it was ironic, wasn't it? to be sad about cooper dying from an overdose and killing the pain by taking more drugs.
i stumbled upon landon in a dimly lit corner of the party, his familiar grin stretching across his face as he handed me a small mirror. the white line beckoned, a momentary escape from the chaos swirling in my mind. without hesitation, i bent down, inhaling deeply, feeling the rush as the powder surged through my veins. as i straightened up, my nose started bleeding but for a brief second, everything felt right.
i started cleaning my nose and came to the conclusion that i needed air. i stepped out onto the balcony, where the noise was more bearable and the stars shone with an intensity rarely seen in the city. i took a deep breath, trying to calm the storm in my mind. i felt the tears welling up, but i held them back. nessa didn't cry.
as i gazed at the sky, i heard a soft laugh behind me. i turned and saw him for the first time. chris sturniolo. everyone had been talking about him lately. he was tall, with a smile that seemed to illuminate the darkness around him. his eyes met mine, and for a moment, the world seemed to stop.
he approached me with a calm confidence that unsettled me. "nessa, right?" he asked, as if he already knew me, as if he already knew everything about me. and in that instant, i didn't know this night would change everything.
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the sun filtered through the blinds in my room, forcing me to open my eyes. the headache was unbearable, and the bitter taste of the hangover reminded me of the previous night. i stayed in bed, staring at the ceiling, trying to remember every detail. but a sense of emptiness persisted, a sadness i couldn't shake.
today was a special day, though no one else knew. a year ago, i had lost my best friend, cooper. it was a night like any other, full of laughter and excesses, but it ended in tragedy. an overdose. since then, parties and drugs had become my refuge, a way to numb the pain, if only for a few hours.
the sound of my phone pulled me out of my thoughts. it was a notification from instagram, another wave of comments and "likes" that meant nothing to me. i got up with effort and headed to the bathroom, where the reflection in the mirror showed me a tired face. nessa, the famous girl everyone admired, was broken inside.
the previous night had been another desperate search for oblivion. i remembered chris, the youtuber i had met at the party. his smile and presence had given me a momentary respite, but i knew i couldn't rely on casual encounters to fill the void i felt.
as i washed my face, i thought of cooper. his laughter, his jokes, the way he always knew how to make me feel better. we had been inseparable until one reckless decision took him away from me forever. the anniversary of his death was a wound that opened more and more, a constant reminder of what i had lost.
despite the pain, the image of chris kept lingering in my mind. there was something about him that made me feel less alone, a connection i hadn't felt in a long time. i wondered if i should send him a message, but the fear of rejection and vulnerability stopped me. what would he think of me if he knew how broken i really was?
i dressed slowly, knowing that the day ahead would be just another attempt to survive. people kept expecting to see nessa, the star, not realizing that behind the cameras and fake smiles, there was a broken girl, trapped in a cycle of self-destruction.
with the determination to keep up the façade, i left my apartment, facing the world with nessa's mask firmly in place. but deep down, i knew i couldn't go on like this forever. something had to change, or the same fate that took cooper might catch up with me too.
as i walked down the street, my phone vibrated with a message. it was from chris. "how are you today? last night was interesting. i'd like to get to know you better." my heart skipped a beat. maybe, just maybe, this connection could be the first step out of the darkness.
