Of Phoenix Tears and Demon Blood

1 - Prepare

"Cyra, forgive me, for I have sinned. The blood of my ancestors flows through me and my same blood carries the weight of their grievous sins. I live for the repentance of these sins and give myself wholly to the nation of Xufra, who ensures that I will pay for what my kind has done."

"Eris, please give me strength. I fear tomorrow, because of the dark clouds of Insurran soldiers that wait not far outside our gates. Give me the strength to win this battle and to ensure that neither I nor my magic falter in the moments I need it the most."

The eight candles flickered unsteadily, chasing away the shadows, who were ready at any moment to bounce back. The candles neither flared with light nor extinguished, and I felt disappointment creep in as it become clear the gods were not sending me any signs of forgiveness or strength.

My knees began to ache against the stone floor and goosebumps rose on my arms with every draft of wind. Despite my best attempts, my eyes drifted around the shrine and then around the room. I couldn't stand until I felt pain, because I must be punished for what fiends – my kind – have done.

"Althea," someone called out. I whipped my head around in time to see Ella stumble into the room. Her eyes were glassy and rimmed in red; her dark hair was swept across her face.

I leapt up, knees faring in pain. She fell crying into my arms, sobs racking her body. She smeared tears on my shoulder as she mumbled something incoherently – a long train of words that stumbled over each other.

Hey, it's okay. Just breathe," I murmured as I stroked her hair. "Inhale and exhale."

She pulled back from me and wiped her tears and snot on her sleeve. I handed her a handkerchief, knowing that she was going to continue using her sleeve, as she always does. She sucked in air, then forced herself to exhale. She sat on the ground and joined her, the roughness of the stone wall behind me and the warmth of Ella against my shoulder. "General Samaras is going to make me fight tomorrow even though I'm not sixteen yet and I've never fought in a battle before and there are so many soldiers outside the walls and I don't know how to fight and-"

Anger flashed inside me first, a burning sting, then dread followed it, a gaping hole in my stomach that threatened to drag me down within it.

"Hey, hey, it's going to be okay. Take a breath with me. Breathe in," I began, watching as she inhaled. "And breathe out. When did she say this?"

"Just now, around ten minutes ago." She sniffed, wiping away more tears.

The gaping hole continued to grow. I swallowed. "What exactly did she say?" Ella looked away as she ran her fingernails up and down her thighs, scratching at her skin. "Ella?" I prompted her.

"I don't know. She said that this battle was going to change everything. That if we can't beat the Insurran soldiers ... that we're the last line of defense before they start moving south into the cities. And everyone needs to fight, even those who aren't of age yet or fully trained yet," Ella said.

It was bad enough that both Audrey and Genevieve would be fighting tomorrow, but at least they were trained and experienced. Ella ... Ella wasn't prepared. She's too young. I can't lose her, not like I lost Cassia. Ella grew silent, zoning off at the opposite wall; her only moment was her scratching her thighs. I can't do this right now, fall into the depths of my own mind. I need to fix this mess.

"Hey, Ella, look at me," I said. She turned to face me, avoiding eye contact. "It's okay, I'm going to talk with General Samaras and try to fix this. I'm going to go now, but I'll send someone to check on you, okay?"

She nodded, wrapping her arms around her. "I'll try to be back soon," I said as I stood up. I glanced at the candles one last time, hoping for divine reassurance, but not finding it, I rushed out of the room.