Sell Your Soul (a Supernatural Fanfiction)

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Jordan POV

Two straight weeks of doing nothing. I barely even ate, let alone leave the bunker. Dean had tried to comfort me on several occasions, but I declined them all. I didn't need their pity.

I had trouble looking either of them in the eye, considering every time I did I got scornful looks in return.

On one of the rare occasions I left my room, I decided to ask the question I've been pondering since that day. "Who's jess?"  I asked Sam. He just looked at me, almost like he was surprised I didn't know.

"She was Uh, well she was my girlfriend in college. She Uh, well, she died.... A long time ago, " He said, not keeping eye contact. I didn't ask any more questions.

~some possible trigger warnings ahead~

I would like to think that I've gotten better since the day he left, but honestly, I wasn't. I still kept my calendar and declined every possible solution that the boys came up with. I wanted to die. To be completely honest, I was contemplating suicide. What was the point of feeling like this if I was going to die anyways? I had started cutting my stomach to shreds. It was odd; I've felt much worse pain in my life, but this was different. It was something that I could control, something that I could guarantee. I was just waiting for the moment that Dean found out what I was doing, how much he would worry about me....

*******

I had decided to actually go outside the comfort of my room for once, considering the fact that my year might... End early. Sam was out, for God knows why. It was just me and Dean tonight. We had sat down on the couch to watch/ make fun of a horror movie. I was sitting about two inches from him.

He pulled a classic douche move, and put his arm around me while 'yawning'. Well, if it was going to be over, why not have some fun? I snuggled into his chest and watched the movie.

"That's so unrealistic! " Dean yelled as the credits rolled.

" I know. That's what makes it so funny, " I said.

" I'm tired, and it's cold in the house. Option 1: I fall asleep in this exact position. Option 2: you let me sleep in your room, " I said, even though I already knew the answer.

" I'll take 2," He said and I got up. He led me back to the corridor of rooms and we found his.

I stripped down to underwear and a bra, being careful to cover my stomach with my shirt before pulling on one of Deans, since it was more adequate for pajamas. He just sat there propped on one elbow, staring.

"Like what you see?" I asked sarcastically.

"Well," He said, smiling.

"That's a shame, now isn't it?" I teased, getting under the blanket. I felt his body up against mine with his arm wrapped around my hip. I smiled and fell asleep.

*******

I woke up on my back, with Deans face buried in the crook of my neck. I smiled.

"Wake up sleepy head I said, planting a kiss on his cheek, as close as I could get to his lips. He was going to be conscious for that one.

"Hey, " He murmured.

I got up and walked out of Deans room in the same ensemble, just to fuck with Sam. When he saw me, he stopped dead in his tracks.

" Uh, hi, Jordan,could you give me and Dean a sec? " he asked, clearly stuttering.

" Sure, by all means," I said, and reached up to kiss Dean on the chin this time.