TW:
Voices, Disturbing Ideas & Suicide
THIS WAS MADE BECAUSE I WAS BORED, IM ALL GOOD BTW
I stood there in the dark room, It felt cold But not in a way it felt freezing, I knew it was quite warm but my body refused to acknowledge that it felt warm, My eyes were glued to a certain spot on the wall, I couldn't see what I was looking, Or even what I was looking at I only knew that if I looked away, Something would be mad.
"You know no one would realize if you'd leave," I heard a voice ring in my head, a voice that I dreaded. I didn't know who this voice was, why I had it, or even if it was a separate entity. I just knew it had thoughts I wouldn't dare to do or say.
"They would," I said, My voice fell flat in the Pitch black Room, Almost Immediately there was a response though I hated that something Awncered
"Would They? Really, would they, or are you just hoping? Hoping that you're still loved and known by something?" The voice responded. I could almost hear the taunting voice. It didn't have a voice, but at the same time, it had a voice. This thing was Impossible to explain, but I still knew it, though I knew nothing about it.
I didn't have a response to this. I couldn't manage to find one even though I knew some point of it was a lie. I felt my head and eyes try to pull away from my look at that one spot on the wall though, I couldn't. I wasn't strong enough to find out what would happen if I looked away.
The spot on the wall was comforting I think, I could stare at it and it wouldn't move away... It wasn't even a wall it was just void, There weren't any walls, There wasn't a floor, or a ceiling it was just darkness that reached forever in every entrance.
"You won't be missed, You almost did it before, you can do it again" The voice rang out as I took a deep breath, It was lying I thought I knew that, But was it?
"Who are you?" I asked, I tried to suck the words back into my mouth, Why did I ask that? Was it going to be mad? Would it hurt me or maybe hit me? Will it yell at me?
"Ella," The voice said and I could see the smirk on its non-existent face.
"You are not me, I wouldn't do the stuff you would do," I said as I took a deep breath, The pit in my stomach growing and the void seemed to be growing colder.
"I am you though, Are you even yourself?"
"What kind of question is that?"
"Are you?" The voice asked again, I had to swallow the tears down again, I couldn't cry, I couldn't get mad.
"You're right, No one would miss me, No one would realize im gone for..." My voice trailed off, I didn't dare to finish that sentence.
"Go on, You have the time, Writing is easy you have your messages from last time" The voice rang out as I smiled, If I did This I would Be at Peace, No more arguing, No more blood or tears Just peace.
Peace Sounded nice for once, I just needed one more storm so I could have a Garden and clear skies, One more wave until the storm ended and I could continue sailing, Just one more Gasp until I could Sink. That All sounded nice, Floating was too tired, Not like anyone would try to pick me up, But a part of me was holding onto something, And I didn't know why.
My eyes opened as I rubbed my eyes, Jesus why was the Sun so bright today? I thought as I stood up and stretched letting out a big yawn, My eyes drifted to the Snow covered landscape, and I let out a chuckle, Snow always was something I loved Or despised, There was no in-between.
My eyes drifted to My Phone sitting across the room, A smile formed on my lips as I walked over, grabbed the phone returned to my bed, and started writing, Today would be the day, At least I hoped, That voice in my head was my friend, They led me in the right way, But there was another one that wanted to hold onto the last hope We had, And I wanted to carve those thoughts and that voice out of my head, But finally, I silenced it.
