BABALOLA UNIVERSITY

5. BalckMail?

Tope:

Everything seemed to be slow... I'm used to seeing like go by rather quickly, but everything seemed slow now. My body somehow seemed more alert. As if it was focusing on everything else except the glaring reality of what I had just done.

I could feel the hairs on my skin rise as the Air conditioner dried off my sweat. I could hear my heart thudding in my chest, and as I hugged myself, I listened to Tunde's breathing behind me. There was no blood. I looked over at the bed when I stood up to use the restroom. I won't say I'm surprised. I have messed around before and bleed. I think I tore my hymen myself. But I knew I never had sex before. That was a consolation. That no matter how silly or slutty I got, no matter what new thing I tried or did, I never had sex. Till now. I had let go... I had let it all go in the blink of an eye, and I didn't know how to feel about it.

"Babe... Are you sleeping? "Tunde questioned behind me, and I came back to earth.

"No... "I whispered, and I felt him move behind me. Suddenly, his big warm arms wrapped around me and he pulled me closer to himself.

"Are you okay? "He questioned, and I gulped. I stayed silent for a few seconds.

"I don't know. "I replied honestly, and I heard him sigh behind me before burying his nose in the nape of my neck.

"I'm sorry... I should have asked first. I should have discussed it with you. I know you told me from the start that sex is off-limits, and I can have anything but that. But I just... I couldn't stop myself. You... You push my limits, Tope. I know it's no excuse but I've been holding back around you. I'm sorry. I could have done a better job of controlling myself. "He spoke, and I closed my eyes.

"Don't sound like you forced yourself on me. I let it happen. "I replied, and he fell silent for a while.

"Do you regret it? "He questions, and I sigh.

"Not while it was happening. I liked it. But I let go of something I've guarded for twenty years. "I replied, and silence fell on the room again. And somehow, I was glad that he didn't apologize again.

"Did you know it was going to happen tonight? "I then questioned, and Tunde remained silent even though he finally took his nose out of the nape of my neck.

"You had a condom with you. "I added.

"Oh. I'm a guy. I have one on me sometimes. "He replies, and I don't know how this answer made me feel. Quite frankly, I didn't like how it made me feel. It made me feel like one of many. I just gave up something precious and I didn't know what this experience meant to him. If it was just as special or important to him as it was to me.

I have stayed faithful to him, and now it looks like he's been fucking around. What does he mean he carries a condom around with him sometimes? So he can get a quick shag every once in a while??

"I need to pee. "I say before wriggling out of his arms and walking into the bathroom. I'm completely naked, but I don't mind. What is there to hide from him when he's seen everything?

"I don't mean it the way you're thinking. "He suddenly says, and I stop in my tracks.

"I used to fuck around before I met you. It's just an old habit I've had. I'm used to it. It's nothing more than that. I haven't been with any other girl since I became yours. Any guy who cheats on you is a fool. What could I possibly want that you don't have? "He adds, and I turn to him. He gets on his knees and moves over to me. He coops my face in his hands and kisses me on the lips.

"I love you, Tope. Only you. I need you to understand that. "He says, and I sigh. I can still feel the guilt of losing my virginity pressing my chest harshly, and I simply nod before walking into the bathroom to think about my life.

***********

The afternoon was warm. I could hear cars zooming past the hostel from my room, and I listened to the birds chirping. I had no classes today, and I didn't know if to appreciate or hate that. It gave me more time to wallow in my thoughts.

Kumbi went home to work on a dress with her mom. She would be back later today, and I didn't know how to tell her that I had lost my virginity. She would be so disappointed. I lay on my back in my bed, listening to my roommates talk about many different pointless and uninteresting things.

They know that sometimes I zone out and like to be left alone in my space and head, so they don't disturb me or ask what happened. And for that, I'm glad. There was this heaviness in my chest, and I didn't know how to process my thoughts.

What would my mother say if she found out I was no longer a virgin? The disappointment. I can't. I just sent a message telling him to get me contraceptives because I wasn't sure if the condom broke or not. He replied that he would get it, and the reply came with an epistle.

He apologized for the previous night and said I gave him a precious gift that he would cherish forever. He reassured me that he loved me and that I would always hold his heart. The message made me feel a bit better. I waited for a while and then he sent me a text that he would soon be at my hostel. I got up to put on a bra and skirt when there was a knock on our door.

I was surprised to see Victoria come into our room. She came to ask if anyone had salt, and something about her energy seemed off. One of my roommates gave her salt and when she left, Aisha sat up on her bed.

"Is it just me, or does Victoria seem more quiet these days? "She whispered and Fehintola immediately and dramatically got off her bed.

"Yes, God! I thought I was the only one who noticed it. She seems calmer now. Almost sad gan. I hope she's not depressed. Is she fine? "She said, and I looked between her and Aisha.

"I heard that ever since that boy was locked up, her energy changed. "Amaka chipped in, and Aisha scoffed.

"Why? Is she missing her lover? "She joked, and Amaka shook her head in negation.

"No. I heard that she's being blackmailed by someone. Maybe the boy's family or friends. "Amaka replied, and I was taken aback by this.

"That doesn't make sense. Why would they do that? Won't that make things worse for the boy? "Fehintola replied, and Amaka shrugged.

"The whole thing is even complicated. According to what I heard, she complained to the school authorities about it, and then she withdrew her report saying it was a mistake and she wanted to close the entire case. The counseling unit knew something was up and tried getting her to open up, but she said nothing. I believe she is still being blackmailed. "Amaka replied, and my jaw dropped.

"Okay. This drama just got spicier. What could anyone use to blackmail her though? I hope she's fine sha. "Aisa said and Fehintola nodded in agreement. Just then, my phone chimed with a message and I was reminded of my troubles when I saw a text from Tunde.

*Baby, I'm outside. *The text read, and I told him I was on my way.

I was almost at the stairs when I heard a familiar voice.

"Please. How long do you want to do this for? I can't keep sending you my pictures. This is a hostel. There are no private spaces. Please... I can't keep this up. I beg you in the name of God. I won't cause trouble again. Please... "I turned around and saw Victoria crying in a corner over the phone. She immediately ended the call when she saw me. I wanted to walk over to her, but she scurried off, and I sighed. What was I thinking? I better not get myself involved in something I don't understand.

I got out of the hostel to see Tunde and he handed me a bag. It was filled with cookies, chocolate, a bottle of Sosa, and a contraceptive pack buried underneath. I smile at him, and he kisses my forehead. He informs me that he has to go to work, and I nod. He reminds me that he loves me, and I watch him walk away.

I am about to head back into my hostel, but I freeze when I feel the hairs on my skin rise like someone is watching me.

Who could be watching me? And why?