quickly, quickly

2

I'm not lying when I tell Tyler that I love him, because I do. I love him more than anything on this planet. Since the first day we met, he has been the beacon of light that I had been searching for my whole life. I love him so much that I can't ever imagine losing him, which is why I'll never tell him about Brendon and I.

"What're you lookin' at?" My thoughts are interrupted by my husband looking back at me from the sink, foamy toothpaste covering his mouth.

"You, weirdo," I moved in to hug him from behind and began to kiss up and down the back of his neck.

Tyler rinsed his mouth out in the sink and wiped his face clean with a towel, then turned to face me. "Are you still going to try and fit in a quickie after I told you I can't be late for work?" He said with an eyebrow raised as he removed my arms from around him.

I watched as my husband put on his slacks and dress shirt that were ironed last night in preparation. Noticing the silence, he turned to me and offered a sad smile.

"I mean, you know how much I want to, baby," He finished walking over and holding my face in his hands. "I always want you," He ended with a soft, too short, kiss.

"I know, I know," I softly responded as he turned away from me to slip on his black oxfords. "I married one busy bee,"

"You sure did, and you love me for it," He winked before turning to walk out the bedroom door.

I followed him downstairs into the kitchen, our dog Jim following closely behind me.

"Don't forget your lunch in the fridge," I exclaimed as Tyler put his jacket on and grabbed his keys.

"Ah, you know me so well, thank you," He briskly walked and grabbed his pre-packed lunch out of the fridge. "What time do you get off again?" Tyler asked, one foot out the door.

"5, but you know they loveeee to keep me late," I walked over to kiss him on his way out.

"And by they you mean Brendon?" Tyler asked, looking deep into my eyes."

"W-Well not always Brendon but you know-"

"Yeah I know, babe, I was just assuming since you and Brendon got assigned that huge donor gala to spearhead for the gallery," He ended with an empathetic smile.

Relief washed over me, "Yeah, exactly. I can't wait until we finish planning for this insane event. I've been resisting pulling my hair out all month," I finished with an exaggerated eye roll.

"It's gonna go great, I already know it," Tyler quickly kissed me before turning back around towards his car. "Bye baby, see you tonight,"

"I love you!" I yelled as he closed his car door.

After starting the car he rolled his window down, "I love you too!" He yelled in response before pulling out of the driveway.

I watched, like I did every morning, as he pulled off and drove away. I let out a sigh as I closed the door behind me.

What the fuck am I doing?

I slid down the door with my head in my hands. The guilt is starting to eat away at me slowly but surely. I pulled at my hair as I began to think about my co-worker.

Brendon was everything Tyler wasn't. He's tall and strong and hyper-masculine. When we have sex, its rough and lustful. There's no romance between Brendon and I, we purely get each other off and go on with our lives. We don't even talk about our lives outside of work. All I know about him is that he and his wife have been married for 7 years and she's currently pregnant with their first child.

Part of me wonders if he even feels guilty. Does he even consider it cheating? Or is it more of a form of experimentation for him?

Everyday I question how I let it go this far because I love Tyler so much. He gives me everything I need and more.

How could I do this to him?

My thoughts were abruptly interrupted by Jim aggressively licking the top of my head.

"You're hungry aren't you, buddy?" I stood up shaking my head as I walked towards his food bowl.

I know that I have to end things with Brendon sooner or later, but for some twisted reason, it feels too good to stop.