hiatus : c.t.h.

"feeling inspired?"

"So," he calls over his shoulder as they pedal down the Bank, whipping by pedestrians. "Magazine entry? What about?"

"I'm supposed to write five hundred words - exactly - of a short scene. Something surprising has to happen. Something the reader doesn't expect."

"So, a plot twist."

"Yeah."

"Any idea about what you're going to write?"

Ciara sighs thoughtfully, looking around her at the lit up buildings, coming into view and disappearing behind her in sections. "I'm thinking of a suicide scene? Maybe the narrator goes to a high building, and the reader thinks they've just gone to admire the view. But at the end, they just jump."

When Calum doesn't answer, she's quick to correct herself. "Maybe it's awful. It's probably awful."

"No," he muses, and she shoots a quick glance at him to see his eyes trained on a towering building about a thousand meters in front of them. "I'm thinking - we should go to a high building."

"Wait - what?"

He looks over at her, his bike wobbling a little. "I said I'd help you find some inspiration for your entry, didn't I?"

"Well - yes, but this is your time off, isn't it? And I don't - "

"Aw, calm down," he grins, swerving sharply in front of a group of pedestrians to park in front of the tall building. "It's not like I'm going to make you jump off. You don't need that much inspiration, I'm assuming."

With a reluctant laugh at his sardonic humor, she follows him, wheeling their bikes to the building and locking them into the stands.

"This is the OXO Tower," he explains as they enter the building and wait for an elevator to arrive. "It has a restaurant on the top floor, but it also has an balcony. You can see most of the city."

As they get into the elevator, Ciara teases him a little. "Do you ever work, Calum? Or do you just spend your time exploring the city?"

He gives a little laugh, his eyes sparkling with anticipation. "I work enough," he defends himself cheerfully. "Although recently, I've been cutting my hours a bit short to hang out with a certain someone." He nudges her shoulder with his playfully, but Ciara can't quite find it funny.

"Wait - Cal!" she exclaims as he runs out of the elevator ahead of her, giggling as he sprints down the hallway.

"Catch me!" he shouts, disappearing round a corner.

Rolling her eyes, she takes off after him, diving around the same corner. But she slams to a halt, her jaw dropping open. The city sprawls out before her, the river cutting through the buildings harshly. Lights float among the shadowy figures of people and buildings and landmarks, the brightness blurring together more the further away she looks.

"Feeling inspired?" Calum says from behind her, making her jump backwards into him in surprise. "Easy," he laughs, steadying her with a hand on her shoulder.

"Sorry," she says distractedly, striding towards the railing of the balcony and leaning over it. The river churns directly beneath her, black and likely just as cold as it looks. People (but they don't look like people - they look like doll figures, wind up toys) move in packs on the streets, hundreds of feet beneath the balcony. The whole sight makes her feel dizzy and minuscule and gigantic and insignificant all at once. "It's - huge," she whispers, the word seeming entirely inadequate to describe her feelings.

But Calum nods, leaning on the railing beside her. "Makes you feel like you don't mean anything."

Ciara looks over at him. "You don't sound happy about that."

He shrugs. "Well, yeah. It's kind of sucky to think no matter what I do, I'm never going to be big enough to compare to this city." He shakes his head, as if those weren't the right words, and tries again. "No, it's more like I can't ever reach all these people. Not even a fourth of these people will ever know my name, not even if I make it in the music scene. And that's scary for someone who wants to make as big an impact as they can."

Ciara mulls over his words, preparing her response carefully and thoroughly. "Yes, but if you look at it the other way, it's kind of comforting."

"Really, Writer Girl? How so?"

With some effort, she ignores the nickname and the smug little smile on his face as he uses it. "See, for someone who wants to hide as much as possible, it's a good thing. You're never going to do anything stupid or terrible enough that everyone ever will remember it." She looks out at a lit up boat, making its lazy way down the Thames. "It's comforting."

When he doesn't answer, she looks over to see him studying her intently, his face cast into shadow. "What?" she insists, tugging her sleeve over her hand nervously.

"Do you really think that low of yourself?" he asks. And although the question could've sounded offensive or rude from some one else, he sounded genuinely concerned.

"It's not that. It's just - " she struggles to explain exactly how she feels. "I don't trust myself not to screw up."

"What have you done to make yourself think that way?"

She can feel herself getting a little frustrated, not used to not having words ready to flow out of her at a moment's notice. "I don't know, honestly. I'm not a confident person." She flashes him a grin. "Not everyone is charismatic and handsome enough to be a rock star, Mr. Fabulous."

"Oh, so you think I'm handsome?" he smirks, his eyes lighting up with mischief.

She realizes what she said, blushing a little (a lot) and hurrying to say, "No! I mean - all I meant was you're not bad, okay?" Nervous laughter bubbles out of her mouth. "Geez, Cal. Stop being so sharp for five seconds."

"Well," he says, and she can hear the satisfaction in his voice. "Thanks for telling me I'm 'not bad.'" After a second, he adds, "You're not so bad, either."

///

Not so bad? Right. Here, with the light of the city washing over her face and the wonder of new places brightening her dark eyes, she was lovely.

She ducks her head, her hair covering her face for a moment. "Thanks," she laughs. "What a compliment from the great Calum Hood."

"Are you mocking me?" he demands in fake indignation. "I think Ciara Anne Reed, self proclaimed nervous worrier, is mocking me!"

"Just because I'm terrified of my own shadow doesn't mean I can't throw some shade every now and then," she smiles.

His mouth lifts a little at the use of the word "shade," and they both watch the city life move along in contented silence for a while.

"Calum?"

He turns to her. "Yeah?"

"What did you mean when you said you'd been cutting down on your hours to hang out with me?" Her eyes look genuinely concerned for him.

"I should've known you'd pick up on that," he says ruefully. "It's no big deal. I just skipped out on a hour or two this week so we could hang out. I don't have friends here, you know, so this is a big deal."

His attempt to lighten the mood doesn't faze her. She still looks worried, and her next question is, "Are you sure you're working enough? You have an apartment to pay for and - "

"Ciara," he cuts her off firmly. "I've been alone in this city for, like, ever. This is a big deal. I can afford to skip out a couple hours. Every now and then. Don't worry."

After a moment, she nods, and turns back to look at the city. "I don't want you to make stupid decisions."

"Who, me?" he jokes. "Never."

And if he'd been eating a little less this week than usual to balance out the loss in pay, she didn't need to know.

(a/n)

i wrote all of this on the plane lol

it feels good to be back to this story! I've been getting a lot of Calum feels lately and this helps me out marginally :-)

okay song time ~
she's kinda hot by 5sos (SO GOOD WOWOW)
walk by the foo fighters
sick little games by atl
kick me by sws
hold me down by Halsey