Undecided

Chapter 1

"Don't you have any feelings towards your family? Ever since you got back from college, it's like you're too good for all of us. Is this how you behave—rude to everyone, shutting yourself away in that room of yours? Neither your dad nor I act like this, so where on earth did you learn it? Stop being so reserved; you're going nowhere like this! Your dad's right—you need to be more active. What do you even plan to do otherwise?" Sarah's mom nagged on, her words relentless, while Sarah struggled to keep her tears at bay.

After her mom retreated to her bedroom, Sarah slipped out of the house for her usual walk. Her destination: the hilltop, a quiet spot just a few meters away where she could find solace or catch the last glimpses of the sunset. Wiping her tears with the sleeve of her dark blue jacket, she reached the familiar bench only to find it already occupied by two guys, older than her. One of them she recognised vaguely—Yellow House Captain from school. Was it Atharav? Or maybe Kunal? She couldn't quite remember his name, and it didn't really matter. She didn't know him well enough to say hi, so she just kept walking.

Instead she opted for the old, worn-out steps leading down to an unfinished amphitheatre, a project abandoned years ago. It was more of a cemented stage surrounded by wild plants, with a barren patch of land in front. The place had always felt like her own little corner of the world, forgotten by everyone else. Standing at the edge of the barren land, Sarah took in the view of the town sprawled out below her. She could see her best friend's apartment—not that they were best friends anymore, since Sarah had ghosted her two years ago without a word of explanation. From up there, she could also spot her school, the court, the former chief minister's house, and the wide expanse of greenery where buffaloes grazed lazily.

It was a small town, one where everybody knew everybody's business. That's what made it feel so suffocating.

Sitting down on the stage, she let out a deep sigh. "Wish I could just launch myself off here and float away, but I'd probably just end up stuck in those trees," she muttered sarcastically to herself, pulling a cigarette and lighter from her jacket pocket. She lit it, taking a long drag as the familiar burn hit her throat.

Coming back home after college had been a rough transition. She'd been back for six months now, and yet, it still didn't feel like home. Her family didn't understand her need for space, and she couldn't stand their constant hovering. They expected her to fall back into the same routine she'd left behind, but Sarah wasn't the same person. She'd grown and learned to enjoy her independence, but her family didn't seem to get that.

"You've changed so much," they kept telling her. "You act like we're the enemy," her mom would say, usually after Sarah's blunt responses to what she saw as petty remarks. Last night was a perfect example: she hadn't finished her bowl of soup, and her brother's sarcastic, "Wasting food again, I see," had been met with her equally sarcastic, "You can finish it if it bothers you."

That, of course, had offended her mother. "Talk properly! He's your younger brother." Everything was always an issue.

If it weren't for her job, she wouldn't have even returned. But living in Bombay was too expensive, and her job in Goa, though underpaid, at least allowed her to survive. She had started work the day after coming back, sensing how hard it was going to be to live under her parents' roof again. Were they proud of her for getting a job? Sure. But that didn't stop them from finding something to complain about every day.

And with her job now being remote, she couldn't escape. She had to face them every single day, suppressing her frustration and pretending it didn't affect her.

Sarah took another drag of her cigarette, letting the smoke drift up into the fading light. The sun was beginning to set, casting a warm glow over the town. She closed her eyes for a moment, trying to find some peace amid the chaos.