Chasing Fate

Chapter 2

Ezra's POV

The last two weeks were a blur of whiskey and cigarettes, my pathetic way of drowning out the pain. I missed Aria. I wish she knew how much I missed her. But I couldn't be selfish again, I had to let her be happy. I just wish her definition of happy included me in it.

I had to pull myself together because Aria was graduating in a week. I wasn't going specifically for her, though; I was part of the teachers that were selected to greet the students on stage. I had missed a lot of work due to my gunshot wound, but I was still a favorite amongst the students. My role on the stage was solely to shake hands and smile, nothing more.

And suddenly I found myself desperately awaiting the moment where I got to shake Aria's hand and flash her a smile. Maybe she'd even give me a smile back, that blinding, incredibly amazing smile that I am still head over heels in love with.

I began looking through my closet for a suit to wear, when I found an old dress of Aria's. It was a red, short, strapless type thing. She wore it on our first 'real' date, in Philadelphia. I remember the day perfectly, even with the whiskey lingering in my thought process. The dress so painfully reminded me of Aria, and I began to miss her even more, which I didn't know was possible.

I closed the closet door quickly, turning away. I wasn't going to let myself fall to pieces over this. 

She is going to be happier without you, I told myself. This is for the best, you need to let her go.

My deepest wish was for Aria to be happy, and if I wasn't included in her happiness, than I needed to find another source of mine. My heart throbbed just thinking about her, and I had to tell myself over and over again that this was for the best to stop myself from crying.

ººº

3 days later

I walked into the bar, immediately overwhelmed by the smell of alcohol, cheeseburgers and sweat. I was out by myself for the first time in weeks. I was eager to meet new people, desperate to get my mind off Aria.

As I sat down at the counter, I gave my drink order and silently waited, drumming my fingers on the wooden tabletop. It wasn't long after I received my drink that a tall blonde woman approached me, sitting down next to me.

"Hi there, you looked like you needed some company." She said, a slight smile on her face, her voice sounding sincere.

"Hah, yeah. I told myself that I was coming here to meet people.  But obviously that isn't working out." I said, both of us laughing.

We ended up spending the night talking, drink after drink, laugh after laugh. It was the first time that I had a conversation with anyone and Aria wasn't the only thing on my mind. I had to stop myself a few times from thinking about her, but I managed to stay most of the night actually involved in this conversation.

It turns out Gwen and I had a lot in common; we both liked literature and we were both teachers. She was an elementary school teacher for disabled children, and I admired her talent for working with them.

By the end of the night, Gwen and I somehow ended up at my apartment, and we ended up having a few more drinks. I drowned out any flicker of Aria in my mind with whiskey, and focused solely on Gwen and her beautiful green eyes.

Not as beautiful as Aria's though, I found myself still thinking about her.

ººº

It's three days until Aria's graduation. Gwen and I are now dating, and I can actually spend time with her for at least a few minutes without thinking about Aria. I was making progress.

The last few days were a blur of whiskey and blonde hair, kissing and cigarettes, and green eyes and pink lips. I convinced myself that I truly liked Gwen, and I threw myself into our relationship aggressively, desperately trying to ignore the constant thoughts of Aria.

I didn't know much about Gwen, come to think of it. I knew her occupation and her hobbies, and that her real name was Gwendolynn. "Gwendolynn with two 'n's," she had told me, "because her mother liked to be original."

I had a suit picked out for the graduation ceremony, and I kept telling myself that I wasn't excited to see her. To see Aria.

You have a girlfriend now. She has pretty eyes, too. And great hair, and shes smart. Forget about Aria.

I had to keep reminding myself that I was dating Gwen, and that she was my focus now. Her green eyes, her blonde hair. Not hazel eyes, or brown hair.

ººº

Graduation day finally came around, and I made my way to the Rosewood Auditorium, dressed in a suit, the only thing on my mind being Aria.

A sea of students were already sitting in the rows of the auditorium, desperately awaiting their diplomas. I took my seat with the other teachers on stage and watched as other students piled into the room.

I caught a glimpse of Aria and her friends, chattering away as they found their seats. Aria looked great, as usual, her wavy brown hair falling perfectly by her shoulders and her perfect skin seemed to be glowing.

It was a few minutes after that they began calling names. I shook every student's hand, politely smiled, and patiently waited for the only name that I truly cared about to be called.

"Aria Montgomery!" The principal said, his words sounding like music to my ears.

She walked up to the stage confidently, making long strides to the podium where she accepted her diploma. A huge smile spread across her face as she shook all of the teachers' hands. When she finally reached me, her grin dimmed to an awkward almost-smile, barely being able to look me in the eyes.

That did not go as I was hoping.

After the ceremony was over, I chatted with the staff for a little bit before realizing that I just wanted to go home. Nobody here wanted to see me, anyway. I would go home, shower, call Gwen over, and we would make out for the rest of the night. That's what was going to happen. That's what needed to happen.

∆

Aria's POV

After our graduation dinner, surrounded by friends and family, all I could think of was Ezra. His charming smile beaming when I stepped on stage, his look of disappointment when I barely looked him in the eye– everything. I needed to see him, I needed to be with him. I didn't realize how much I missed him until I actually saw him for the first time in weeks, having the sudden urge to kiss him.

I suddenly regretted pushing him away. I regretted telling him I needed to start college without him. Because without him, I am unhappy, and what would college be without my sole source of happiness in this world?

I realized what a huge mistake I had made and immediately bolted to my car, eager to get to Ezra's apartment and make everything right. He would surely be home right now. If I knew him well enough, he'd be sitting on the couch, his tie almost completely undone around his neck, a scotch tumbler in one hand and the TV remote in the other.

I immediately drove to his apartment, the only thing on my mind was him. I needed to see him, I needed to make things right.