During the end of 2010 when I was 8, I realized I wanted to live with my mother. Every school break I go to her house and it was Christmas vacation so she had me for the whole thing. The actual day of Christmas I was being tortured with the fact that I wanted to live with my mom In my head. I just wanted to tell someone. That day we were at my sisters grandmother's house. As me and my mom walked back to her house after the night was over, I just blurted out that I wanted to live with her. She stopped and smiled saying really. At that moment I smiled to and said yea. It felt so good to let it out. I told her that I had felt that way all night. She then asked why I wanted to live with her and I'm not exactly sure what I told her but next thing I know she's telling her boyfriend. The three of us sat down later that week. He told me that if I wanted to live with them I had to call him daddy. Now that I think about it, it's an awful thing to ask of me and then I thought so too but I didn't realize exactly how much that was to ask of me. I told him I didn't want to and he said its either that or I can't live with them. I said ok but it bothered me so much that my mom didn't seem to have a problem with it. I asked them how would we tell my dad cause I was scared how my dad would react but they assured me he would be fine and told me that when I first picked to live with him he told them that if the day ever came where I wanted to live with them he would be fine with that. Wow were they wrong. One day probably about a month after that, my dad told me that my mom was picking me up the following weekend because she has custody of me on weekends and asked me if I wanted him to tell her no. I was way to quick to respond and said, "no I wanna go." His immediate response was wow you said that fast. He said "Do you wanna live there or something." I didn't say anything and was quiet. He knew that meant yea I guess. Im not sure where exactly it was that we were because I know that were walking back to the house from somewhere. After that, the rest of the way home was dead silent. We didn't talk till we got home and by that time he was full on in tears. I had never seen him cry before. He asked why I would want to leave and I told him that I didn't know. I remember him kinda creepily telling me that it didn't Eben matter because the decision depended on him and he wasn't going to let me go. From then on my mom kept asking me if I still wanted to live with her since I just stopped talking about it. Then this one day and dunkin donuts we were face to face and she asked me if I wanted to live with her or not. I sadly shook my head. It still makes me cry thinking about her face of disappointment and thinking about how happy she was when I first told her I wanted to live with her.
